Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers If you like Pina Coladas....

BF- that does sound like a yummy cake!!

H came home last night at 10- kinda early for him, and he played video games and drank beer for a few hours (can we say: reliving his college years?!)

The boys and I made breakfast and we all ate together. S6 made him a card and drew all 4 of is on the front. Inside it said: "happy birthday. We all love you" and he made me sign it. H liked the presents from the 'boys', and he made sure to tell *me* thank you. I got him a kindle, since he had mentioned he wanted one for overseas... Turns out he had already bought a used old one on eBay. He said that mine was an upgrade so he was happy. Oh well, at least he knew that I paid attention to a passing comment.

The weather is nasty and raining today- H hasn't mentioned any plans to leave, but I'm sure he will later. Right now, I'm enjoying watching him and S6 play together

(((Purg))) Hang in there. BTW - way too nice
If he heads out alone make sure you do something fun.

That was nice of you. Was that a 180? Did buy him thoughtful gifts before?
And definitely make plans tonite! NO EXPECTATIONS REMEMEBER!

I shoulda tattooed that on my forehead this morning. I was disappointed. I think it's cuz of aunt flo (AF).

i say if H leaves.. you build a fort and have a camp out w/ the kids! sigh. wish i was doing that today..

a kindle.. very nice. i want one too!

hope you have a good day today. thinking of you.

Mnky- I've never known the words "too nice" when it comes to birthdays that's what I was struggling with: to be my authentic self and be generous like I want to be, or pull back b/c it might make him uncomfortable... I went with option A and it didn't backfire (yet).

Vero- I've always given thoughtful gifts. This time was a little different because he didn't say he wanted one during a talk about birthdays, it was such a passing statement he probably didn't think I heard him. And I think if you listen carefully when people mumble or talk to themselves, you can find some helpful information.

BF: a hampster camp out sounds perfect!! Right now I'm just trying to figure out how to burn off some of S6's energy. It's been raining all day and we've been cooped up in our hamster house- and they are driving me nuts!

H played in the garage and his truck for a few hours (his truck looks like he's been living in it- there's clothes and trash everywhere!) We all had lunch together and it felt like a 'normal' Saturday would have been before te bomb. I wandered outside a few times and asked about what he was doing- he talked with me for a little bit, but nothing exciting. He left to "go out" a little while ago. He told me to leave the chain off the door (which means he's planning to sleep here). He also left his backpack here- which is VERY unusual. I joke with him that he has a bigger purse than me! This backpack goes EVERYWHERE with him (even before the bomb) but since then, he's never left it anywhere that I might go through it.... Temptation/curiosity is growing!

maybe he's got a hamspter in there. ooooohhh.. when the mice are away.. the hampster will come out to play...

Purg - what you did for his bday was very nice and I don't think it was too much. That's good that he decided to spend time with the boys (and you) when he could have been completely selfish because it's "his" day.

I know what you mean by "re-living his college days". My H likes to drink beer and play video games. Oh, and he's also VERY into transformers (as in the toys). He's been buying them like crazy, using S4 as an excuse. And I just say 'ok'.

Interesting facts with his phone and now his backpack...seems like he's starting to get more comfortable in the house again.

Good job Purg.

I'm a big believer in going dark or dim in 2 circumstances

1) if it's the only way to protect YOU from further pain/having less trauma/drama

and or

2) b/c it's your 180

but in your sitch the "positive only" attention from you is what you admit needs work and that;s what you are doing, imo.

SO even though usually we are supposed to pull back, I would not pull back in this regard'

but you can pull way back in EXPECTATIONS...so keep that up

and it's not the same as pursuit b/c that is attached to expectations.
I think you just seemed loving to him and as if you were putting

your kids and h's welfare and happiness over yours. In SOME situations that's a good idea.


Well done

Purg!! Backpack! (I sound like Dora the explorer lol!) DON'T SNOOP! This is ur conscious! Don't don't don't do it!

Purg - what you for H did was sweet. No matter how he handles it, it was sweet of you to do it.

Just like the phone recently I'm sure you have the strength to avoid looking in his hampsterpack.