Hey mom - I'm compelled to keep it light most of the time. Some days I get on the boards and while theraputic, it sometimes brings me down to see everbody hurting. Got to go with the levity.
Me: 44 Bomb: 11/27/11 Divorced:6/12 Life goes on: 6/13
So this afternoon I am leaving work early to go see my shrink over in Jackson. I emailed the wife to let her know that I was going to swing by the house to grab my summer uniforms. I added that she might want to put some clothes on (she is working from home today) just to lighten the interaction. She jus sent back a short - "thanks for letting me know."
First contact in a long time today. I'm really dreading going by that place because I always leave as a ball of emotions. Its still "my" house and I wish it was not such a big deal to go over there. This is friggin silly.
Me: 44 Bomb: 11/27/11 Divorced:6/12 Life goes on: 6/13
G-monk. I know that must be so tough. Its' not silly at all. Just accept the emotions, let them run through you and know that in a while you can take them out and look at them. Step by step my friend. We need to forget about linear time for a long while I suspect.
Well yesterday was "different". I think I'm finally starting to see a crack in the wall. Now I am preparing myself for the backlash from the W.
She was actually rather engaging yesterday. I was only at the house for about 15 mins. Again, I got the "you are so happy". "This proves that we were not good for each other". My repsonse: No, it proves that I needed this to happen so I could make the changes that I needed to be happy. I am indeed the happiest I have been in many years. This is not because I am away from you, but rather, I found myself again.
Wife: "I do not beleive your changes are permanent". Me: I'm sorry you feel that way. Look, I will be happy and forever grateful if we get another shot at our M. If we don't, I will still be happy and grateful for the time we had.
She texted me a couple times out of the blue last night too. It was financial stuff, but still - a big difference.
Me: 44 Bomb: 11/27/11 Divorced:6/12 Life goes on: 6/13
Well yesterday was "different". I think I'm finally starting to see a crack in the wall. Now I am preparing myself for the backlash from the W.
She was actually rather engaging yesterday. I was only at the house for about 15 mins. Again, I got the "you are so happy". "This proves that we were not good for each other". My repsonse: No, it proves that I needed this to happen so I could make the changes that I needed to be happy. I am indeed the happiest I have been in many years. This is not because I am away from you, but rather, I found myself again.
Wife: "I do not beleive your changes are permanent". Me: I'm sorry you feel that way. Look, I will be happy and forever grateful if we get another shot at our M. If we don't, I will still be happy and grateful for the time we had.
She texted me a couple times out of the blue last night too. It was financial stuff, but still - a big difference.
Wow, just wow! That's going in my DB Words of Wisdom file. I need to memorize it.
(((gm)))
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
