Amen! Thanks for the encouragement everyone. It's been a rough couple of days, but as we all hopefully realize, I just have to keep on keeping on! Break on through to the other side.......for me........they tell me happiness can be found over there:-)
I think it takes great courage to be able to honestly feel uncomfortable and sometimes overwhelming emotions without getting utterly lost in them. It speaks of emotional maturity that will serve you well as you go on to other pursuits and Rs in your life. I also think it is positive that you are able to recover quickly from strong bouts of sadness and anger. It shows that you are getting through it one day at a time.
Sometimes it helps me to laugh at my own sadness. The other day I was doing dishes and felt compelled to sing Mr. Sandman at the top of my lungs while sobbing and crying. "Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream [sob, sob, cry, cry]. Make him the cutest that I've ever seen [wail, wail, rend my hair]. Give him two lips..." Well, you get the point. I ended up laughing and crying at the same time and it actually felt good. Yeah, I'm nuts like that. Anyway, you seem to know who you are and what you value, even if you're not exactly sure what your destination is yet. Good luck.
M:37; H:37; M:10 years;T:13 years;no kids. Bomb ("I love you, but don't feel things for you I should":1/08/12 Separated (H living with various friends:1/18/12 Separated (H rented his own apartment:3/4/12
Less than a week till this is supposed to be over. W still tbinks D will happen but to the best of my knowledge D can't happen while pregnant. I guess we will see.......I hope she is right. Never thought that I would be hoping for a D, but that is where I am at today. Even though DB didn't save my M, it did save me.
Michael, I'm really sorry that it might come to a D- but I am impressed with your ability to accept it with dignity.
You and your kids will need to depend on each other for guidance and comfort through the next few stages of this.... but it sounds like you are up for the task.
Keeping your family in my prayers
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
W is still clueless on respect. She asked if I would watch kids tomorrow night so she could go to her dad's b-day party. I said sure if she was going to pick them up after by herself, I don't want OM at my house. She just went off.....so no kids for me.
They always want what they want and how dare anyone question their plans! And they are so wrapped up in themselves, they can't conceive of how their actions would effect someone else, besides, it's not *their* problem if *you* don't like what they're doing (at least this is how I interpret the WAS train of thought.)
Sorry the kids are getting pulled directly into the middle of this. I'm sure it's confusing for the little ones, but it would take a lot to get passed the teenagers.
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
ItGal activities are a house warming party, painting my daughters bedroom and making some soap. W is at her dads b-day party with OM providing she found a sitter. I was very tempted to succumb to her demands and watch the kids.......it's a big test for me to enforce my boundaries and not allow myself to be a doormat. She has been spewing garbage at me via text ever since I stood my ground. I have validated when appropriate and ignored her otherwise. It's been quite a day.
Did you ever have one of those days that no matter how many GAL plans you have and no matter how busy you are you just can't shake the constant realization that you just miss them? Miss sharing your day, or just brushing up against them as you pass in the hall. These things will never happen again. I will never hold her, or feel her rub my shoulder while driving. Man today was a rough day, tomorrow will be better.
