Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 4)

Thanks Bug. You're the best. I need to do some of that for myself too as you recently suggested.

Your continued ability to peel away your own layers and look deep into yourself, is inspiring an motivating.

In the day of my trouble I will call to you, for you will answer me . Psalm 86:7

Good for you Rick! God speed, my friend!

Rick, you're doing an amazing job on discovering yourself and trying to figure out what YOU want. It is absolutely not selfish to love yourself. You have been giving without receiving for so long.

Your self-discovery is inspiring to me as well. You're a good man, father and husband. You have a good heart.

I'm so sorry about the way your W is acting. Not only has it taken a toll on you and your M, but also on your sons. It must be so hard for them to see their mom act the way she does. While she is not setting a good example, YOU are. You are showing them what commitment is; the meaning of family and marriage.

I have been giving a lot of thought to how I have been seeing, reacting and acting in this sitch for the past year. I recognize (and it took a long time to do this) that I have given my total focus to my W and her sitch, not really focusing at all on the fact that I am on a huge journey in this too.

Rick you are beyond journey and into a Homeric Odyssey now
Again, your fortitude and current introspection are inspiring.

I do see this though. I do not have a W anymore, nor a lover, partner or even a friend
I disagree.

I'm going to handle my interactions differently with her too. I will still be friendly, supportive and loving
These last three words are the hallmark of a good friend.

I think you are getting it...

Being THAT person, is the magnet....

Now, those are just words and thoughts, although through repetition, your words and thoughts will become your actions....

Is that what you want the world to see ??

Is that the man you want your children to see ??

I would venture that your answer will be a "yes"...


Be that man, consistently.

I have had difficulty with the "turning it over to higher power"
AlAnon 3rd Step but I keep trying. I know that when I am able to embrace that then everything else goes better because I let go of that belief that I can control things. I don't have to worry about every little detail because it's out of my control. I can concentrate on my next step.

I can only control myself. I can only control myself. I can only control myself

Wouldn't it be great if we could all get together and swap "Tales of the LBSer"

Y'all are the best!

Thanks Purrr....that helps.

You too, two.