But the new, Zen, mother theresa purg was the one in charge tonight... and I think he liked it
Purg, that's some intense stuff. You have definitely grown and you are much stronger than I. Still, I find it curious that he comes running to you during his self-created crisis.
Me: 44 Bomb: 11/27/11 Divorced:6/12 Life goes on: 6/13
Yes! Photos were today. Never could have done some of the outfits and positions had i not been with a close friend. And I saw some of the photoshop tricks she was doing already.... I'm excited!!! Really hope that H will deserve to see them someday- he will LOVE them
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
Great job Purg!! Like many vets on here have said, we don't need to be punitive or try to teach our WAS a lesson, life will do that. I guess Karma may be coming back around in your favor.
You did an awesome job in just listening and not offering any solutions. This is his mess he created and just be their for support, not to fix. He will see what an amazing person you are yet again.
Great job, Purg! Hope you're family's future is not negatively affected in that way by you H's poor choices.
Just a word of caution-try not to give too much advice or fix-it for him.
Quote:
I told him the only thing he could do right now, whether STBXH files a claim or not, is to stop all communications with OW. I told him that he needed to ensure that there was no way anyone could misconstrue what was happening. He agreed.
Is this the old take-charge fix-it Purg? That could come back to bite you in the butt. Whenever he asks a question, allow him answer it himself. "What do you think you should do?" "What are your choices?" That way it can never be "Yeah, but you told me to do that!"
Remember, they always like our help...until they don;t like it.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Taking a break for lunch and stretching on my 13 hour drive home.... 8.5 more to go
Thank you all for the feedback and encouragement! Ces, I too have been praying for a 'dramatic' event to trigger some kind of change with my sitch... Guess I got it. I hope you get one soon too. Labug, yes I think was guilty of 'taking charge' again in that moment- so far it hasn't bit me in the butt, but we'll see what happens when I get back.
Just updated H on my status.... Guess who took a day off work to be with the kids, so he wouldn't have to take them to OW's house. Looks like he implemented this no contact with her overnight... Honestly I'm surprised.
**i had an uplifting and enlightening experience at my friend's house (who's dad is my personal connection to God :)) I haven't had the opportunity to write about it the way it deserves, but I don't think this new issue is a coincidence... Perhaps some intervention. He talked to me about my health and my R, gave me some new perspectives and taught me about *how* to pray during times like this.... I'm not a churchy person- but this really spoke to me. I'll write about it when I can devote the amount of time needed**
I'm curious to see how things play out, and trying to have no expectations at the same time!
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
