Definitely sounds like your on the right plan. Even your C agrees!!
I found the best luck I had was when I let go and lived my life. I left it up to my XW to come back to me, and she did, twice. Live your life, enjoy your life, and see what happens. No expectations, just waiting. Putting your love life on hold while enjoying everything else. In some ways, that can be liberating in it's own way. Fewer pressures, fewer decisions.
Yes, this new approach will be liberating! As I see it I have no decision to make...h knows I don't want the d. He's the one on the fence! Thus it is his decision.
So for me it is
Quote: Fewer pressures, fewer decisions.
if I do nothing but wait.
Hopefully h shows up for his mc today. And the c can fill him on what it means to make an effort to fix the m.
Quote: I found the best luck I had was when I let go and lived my life. I left it to my XW to come back to me and she did twice.
Just goes to show you that no matter what you do, the decision will be your H's to stay in the M or not. All you can do is make the changes, be happy and confident, no pressure, and be as agreeable with his viewpoints as you can. Keeping the focus on you while he figures himself out is probably the best approach. He has to know you've let go, before you can expect anything concrete to happen in terms of his commitment level.
Ok, I'm totally confused! My h just called to ask when the boys spring break was....week of March 8 I said. He said well are you planning on going somewhere? I said no I have not thought that far ahead (OUR DIVORCE HEARING IS FEB 13...HAVEN'T MADE IT PAST THAT!!!!). He said well I was thinking of going to Flordia. I say so you have plans of going that do not include us, is that why you are calling to let me know you'll be gone? He said no I was thinking if you had nothing to do WE could go to Florida and see my dad!
OMG!!! Now he's making plans post-d, or not d or whatever!!! I have not idea what to think!
My c has yet to email me as to what his session was like with my h so I'm unsure what my next step should be. To have him make plans for March is a little encouraging I think!!! Wow!
And I was just praying this morning for some indication what God wanted me to do...keep on in the m or to go with the d. Is this a sign or what?
But as in Texas...my h changes as quickly as the weather ...I'll wait and see what happens. Though I am happy at the moment!!!
Ok, I'm totally confused! My h just called to ask when the boys spring break was....week of March 8 I said. He said well are you planning on going somewhere? I said no I have not thought that far ahead (OUR DIVORCE HEARING IS FEB 13...HAVEN'T MADE IT PAST THAT!!!!). He said well I was thinking of going to Flordia. I say so you have plans of going that do not include us, is that why you are calling to let me know you'll be gone? He said no I was thinking if you had nothing to do WE could go to Florida and see my dad!
OMG!!! Now he's making plans post-d, or not d or whatever!!! I have not idea what to think!
My c has yet to email me as to what his session was like with my h so I'm unsure what my next step should be. To have him make plans for March is a little encouraging I think!!! Wow!
And I was just praying this morning for some indication what God wanted me to do...keep on in the m or to go with the d. Is this a sign or what?
But as in Texas...my h changes as quickly as the weather ...I'll wait and see what happens. Though I am happy at the moment!!!
Thats an interesting development. I wouldn't focus on D dates so much as I would the R between the two of you D or not. Many people bring closure to the legal end of things and come out of it wanting to rebuild a new R after the fact. Whether you D or not, you still will have an R with him due to the kids. So, you make the best of it. Just because he's thinking of Florida in march doesn't mean he's reconsidering anything in terms of how he feels about spending the rest of his life with you. Of course, keeping in line with lovingly detaching from him, you don't read between any lines or expect anything, you just happily go along your way, maybe you'll go to Florida, maybe you won't its up to you, you call the shots.
In terms of praying, bear in mind that for whatever the reason, God allows 7000 Ds a month to go through in the good ol US of A. So given that, focus on the R between the two of you, regardless of whether you're legally married or not, I think thats what he'd want you to do..
Quote: for whatever the reason, God allows 7000 Ds a month to go through in the good ol US of A.
Yes, unfortunately, we pray about people for their hearts to change, for them to want to know God and God does move people but ultimately the person has FREE WILL. THat is why there are STILL D's even though God is all powerful...He can't effect a person's free will. My h's free will is still up in the air despite my prayers and God's will.
Oh, well, you are right...I can't read between the lines. I know in the past my h has changed his mind at the drop of a hat. As you and I both know, our r has not gotten any better. My h is still as rude as the day I left him and as unloving. These lack of changes keeps me wary.
If we do get d, the only relationship I will have with my x-h will be for the sake of the children and that will be very minimal. He rarely calls them or shows concern for their schooling or sports activities so I expect that NOT to change once we are d. So thankfully contact will be at a minimum after the d. I do not see myself attempting to pursue an r after the d.
Today, I'm making myself happy by focusing on helping others in need, taking the focus off my r.
...I'll wait and see what happens. Though I am happy at the moment!!!
