Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives Surviving the Big D Archives Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time

Good weekend with girls. Unfortunately, I had to work for a while Saturday night. They said they'd be fine alone together. I texted XW and asked if she'd stop in a couple of times to check on them.

She said yes. She brought over cheese puffs though. The girls didn't open them. They know I don't buy that junk for here.

Sunday they both woke up testy and both tried to get out of going to church. Finally, I lost my temper for about 10 seconds, slammed a door and then calmed down. They got the message. We went and they say they had a good time.

After, we picked up a couple of their friends and went to the health club.

It's likely our last trip there. They've agreed to switch back to the YMCA. It has a better pool and a restaurant and is just bigger. There's some healthclub amenities they'll miss. But this will save me money and allow them to stay on the membership all year.

The only thing I'll miss is these Body Pump classes. It's 60 minutes of aerobic weight lifting. Tonight, I tried to do some of the routines on Youtube. It'll work but I have to load each track separately and wait, and wait, and wait for it to be ready.

I think I will have to break down and buy a new computer. The fact I'm blogging for my sister will allow me to expense it -- next year.

I'm so busy for the next month or so I really don't have time to feel lonely. The thing I've noticed -- for the second time post split -- is how much better when YOU choose to be alone. I could have clung to DHU_41 just to have someone. But I wasn't willing to change my life at all for her. I'd rather have it as is right now. That's liberating mentally.

Absolutely. When you choose a R for the wrong reasons it comes back and bites you in the butt eventually.

Another small thing. XW has dropped off Match.com. I probably still shouldn't check, but I do occasionally.

Just an observation. Could mean she's found someone.

Could mean you should stop checking! Whether she's there or not is meaningless, you have no idea why she is or isn't, so what's the point?

I figured that would be the reaction.

Maybe she's tired of it, maybe she's taking a break, maybe she's sick of "ur hot, let's do it" messages from guys, maybe she's too busy for dating, maybe she just doesn't want to date at all right now....who knows. Women drop off and come back on frequently. So whether she's on Match or not tells you pretty much nothing about the reason therefore I say it's a pointless exercise on your part...and it shows a lack of detachment, which is neither good nor bad, it just is. We don't check on people unless we still have feelings for them.

BINGO! One of my friends from this bb still checks her Ex H's cel phone messages to this day! YEP - an obsessive habit. I think its like ripping off the scab just when the healing starts. You bleed every time you check. Or you get your hopes up.

I never checked on my ex after he left. No phone checks. No online checks. No drive-bys. It's called "Letting Go".

Just do it!

Barb

You figured right. And rightly so. With the collective experience and knowledge of those here telling you that checking up on her like that is unhealthy for you...it means something. It means that they're right.

I won't put my two cents on this then. You've been smacked enough for that one. All done out of love!