Unbelievably happy for you!! You did the hard work and now you get to enjoy the benefits of it
I started tearing up when you described your 'date' at the restaurant and the drive home... I could actually 'see' the smile on your face as you wrote your story.
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
Thanks all. I woke up this morning feeling grateful, renewed and ready for the challenge of starting over. I was actually able to listen to some of my favorite songs on the drive in to work. Funny how I can't enjoy them when I am depressed.
Again - I know I am still not out of the woods yet, but I am looking forward to a new phase. I will try to keep everyone posted on what is going on with my situation.
Does this mean I get to "graduate" to the "Piecing" forum??
Me: 36 Her: 35 Together 7/09 Married 8/7/10 Separate rooms since at least April 11 "I've decided I want a divorce" 12/5/11 She moves out of state/files 2/7/12 Dissolution final 5/12
However, I wouldn't be me if I didn't give you something to chew on.
All of the work that you have done for yourself. That part doesn't end now. DBing is so much more than just a ploy to save your marriage. The lessons you have learned here over the months, will serve you in the future.
Once a DBer, always a DBer , if you have truly learned the concept. Keeping up things for you is a must. Remembering where you have been, and what you have been through is a must. There is a reason we face forward when we drive, and only have rear view mirrors. Because we must be very aware of our past, while keeping focus on our future.
Identifying your role, and your behaviors that led to this point have played a key part in her possibly wanting to take a second look in your direction.
Although you have been hoping for this to happen for months. The reality is, that you weren't ready yet.
Things happen when they are supposed to happen.
Now is the time to set in motion the things you have practiced. To actually BE the person you found through this , your actions should speak AS LOUD as your words, now that she is listening.
Piecing is hard work. Anytime there is a breach of trust , you will find struggles rebuilding those. And I don't necessarily mean with her. You will struggle with trusting yourself too.
When you truly forgive, it means to lay down that sword , never to pick it up again. Whether that happens to be with her, or more importantly.......yourself.
Let your faith guide you through this...
Faith in God Faith in her Faith in yourself Faith in the marriage
God gives us exactly the problems we need........to fix ourselves
You have come far young Jedi....the force is strong in you.
I know, Mach. I am essentially at the foot of another mountain right now -- but it is a better mountain. I know I have a lot to prove if things keep moving forward in the manner in which they are. In fact, I have every intent to revist the sections in DR about solution-based communication.....gonna need that.
"Does this mean I get to "graduate" to the "Piecing" forum??"
You know, I often wonder when the true transition occurs. If you've poked around in the piecing forum you likely have seen where some thought they were in piecing but really weren't.
My sense of where you are at is that maybe there is a crack in the door. Don't barge through! Take things one day at a time.
If you two get to the point of actually moving back in together, then maybe you are starting to piece things back together. I'd continue to hang out here for awhile longer. The newcomers forum is so much more active anyway.
We all are rooting for you!!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
So, this continue to progress. W texted me last night that the water went out at her condo complex. I actually picked up the phone and called her just to see what the deal was. That was the first time I have called her since the day she dropped the bomb. And, like the 17 year old boy I have become, I was nervous.
We have plans to connect this weekend to do some shopping for some things. Small - but a good step. I am start to get butterflies in my stomach about hanging with her.....it is really, really odd - but I like it.
Don't really expect her to back a U-Haul up to her place and start packing up to move back home anytime soon - and I am cool with that. Right now, I think we are in the perfect place given where we have been and what we have in front of us.
