Kinda of hitting the "blue" wall tonight. Last night with my S and won't have him back till Sunday....possibly later because of work travel. I miss him already - we had such a good time this weekend.....dinner with old friends.....got his first haircut with daddy. It's so hard to be without him. I picked him up tonight and he was eating a cookie - I strapped him in and asked if I could have a bite. He smiled real big and held it up to my mouth. Small thing, but kind of touching all at the same time. I know he is loved and in good hands with my W, but still I miss those little smiles, giggles and laughs.
I hope I don't have to live like this for the rest of my life. I hope W and I can get this worked out. Missing her and missing him is a weight on my soul that I can barely lift. Tough night tonight.
I remember my D's 1st day at daycare I cried all the way to work. It was my job for the first year to drop her off. We took a bus since we could not drive into the city. I think I cried every day I dropped her off. Not sure what I am trying to say other than I feel for you.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Kinda of hitting the "blue" wall tonight. Last night with my S and won't have him back till Sunday....possibly later because of work travel. I miss him already - Crimson
Hope your week is going well. Stay active and GAL, not only are you doing it for yourself but you're doing for your S. As he grows he'll appreciate even more a dad who is active and engaged and offers both special traditions and new experiences! Live fully & enjoy!
Me:45, W:45 S:16 D:13 M:22, T:25 Bomb: July 2010 Putting finances in order for "D" Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
So here is a simple one for the experts (and all others) to chew on. Got a text from W tonight saying "I feel sorry for putting our family through this ordeal ". Pretty much right out of the blue. Don't know how to read or take it, really. Maybe I shouldn't have responded, but I said "Don't. We are all going to be OK. There is a purpose behind everything. Including this."
Thoughts? Again - I am reluctant to read into ANYTHING right now. We have MC session #2 tomorrow. Maybe she has been thinking about things??? IDK.
So here is a simple one for the experts (and all others) to chew on. Got a text from W tonight saying "I feel sorry for putting our family through this ordeal ". Pretty much right out of the blue. Don't know how to read or take it, really. Maybe I shouldn't have responded, but
but you did anyhow...okay well what's done is done.
The good news is that I think it's clearly not a negative,
but it could mean she's sorry she's ending the family, or she's sorry she is not feeling good about you and the future of the m...
but before now, she had not expressed regret but rather, blame.
So even if she's still thinking it's done/over, it's progress toward each other.
And there's also the possibility she regrets THE CHOICE itself and may be rethinking it...
and seeing the wreckage...which she regrets...
which is even more positive.
Instead of reassuring her that you and son will be just fine if she's gone or divorced,
you could stress that you get that she felt it was needed, BUT THAT IT HAS BEEN A CATALYST FOR POSITIVE CHANGE IN YOU...
instead of the vague "everything happens for a reason"...
which could mean you will be with OW or have more kids, or whatever...etc which is like saying "it's all good no matter what", stuff.
Well, like I said, it's done.
You MAY want to toss thoughts out here first
given how delicate things are between you two
I said "Don't. We are all going to be OK. There is a purpose behind everything. Including this."
Thoughts? Again - I am reluctant to read into ANYTHING right now. We have MC session #2 tomorrow. Maybe she has been thinking about things??? IDK.
Crimson
Crimson,
of course she's been thinking about things. She is at a cross roads.
The question for you is how will YOU handle things and what do YOU want?
And how are you going to make darn sure you don't end up in the same sitch 2 years or 4 years from now?
Answer me that...
and then be able to answer HER that...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I thought about all of the interpretations that you threw out. I will answer your questions tomorrow. Exhausted at the moment --- but I do have answers. Have thought through them before.
Crimson - my thoughts are pretty much in line with 25.
During your session tomorrow, listen carefully and just as carefully think through your responses. If you don't have a response then offer to get back once you have had some time to think it through. Try not to get defensive and validate where appropriate.
I don't recall, but if you have any homework from your last session, be sure you are prepared to report out on whatever it is.
Clearly you and your W are at some sort of an intersection that depending upon how things go will determine which direction you two will be moving in the future. I'm wishing for you the very best outcome possible!
Take deep breaths and think "as if!"
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
". Pretty much right out of the blue. Don't know how to read or take it, really. Maybe I shouldn't have responded, but I said "Don't. We are all going to be OK. There is a purpose behind everything. Including this."