Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers WHG: When last we heard from our action hero...

Wowza... Well this day went to he11 in a hand basket face . Day was going fine... Spent the morning with son while my w slept after working a night shift. we got home and shortly after my w woke up. W played a little with son while I watched. Then we picked up the house some. Turns out w had no plans tonight and neither did I (originally w was to work until 9pm tonight). She started making plans to go out and I told her that I had made plans (which I hadn't but I wasn't about to be left at home two nights in a row!). She said ok and agreed to stay with our son, which was good because he missed her a lot after four days of night shifts. I went and got some dinner and we all ate as a family.

After dinner w says we need to talk about a date for telling the kids... Ugh... Ok, what are your thoughts? Jan 8. Wtf? That's next Sunday. We argue a little... She's always said she wanted to keep it away from SS's birthday ( which we are celebrating Jan 7, but is actually Jan 15). I point out that Jan 8 is pretty close. Her counter? It's after we celebrate it... Oh, well then, silly me... I'm sure it won't create bad memories that it happened the friggin day after his birthday. What was I thinking? She's so damn selfish...

But it is what it is... Either I agree or she tells them herself, so really not many options. After that I pretty much lose it... Tried to kee it from her and son, and I was leaving anyway. Had a good long cry and scream while driving on the interstate.

I'm better now. Again... Nothing is different now than it was 3 hours ago. Still separating, still divorcing, she's still moving. The only difference is that I get to crush my son's little heart next Sunday instead of in a few Sundays from now. Might as well get it over with, right?

Called my mom and cancelled my GAL plans for two weeks from now. I was going to go away for the weekend for a search and rescue school, but leaving my son for three days with grandma the week after he finds out about us splitting seems like a bad plan. There will be other SAR schools... I believe my son will need me more that weekend. Unfortunately when I called my mom to cancel she could tell I was upset and I told her more than I should've, though she's guessed almost all of it already anyways.

So we've got a lot to figure out this week I guess... Kids will have questions answer have to have answers.

One interesting moment came when my w told me she was discussing telling the kids with a doctor at work who is also a psychologist. He recommended not reeling them we are getting a divorce. Only that we are going to live apart for now and see what happens. That divorceis a big concept to process all at once... So we'll see.

I am thinking about asking my w if, on the day we do tell them, we can take them swimming that evening at the local hotel. All of us. I don't know if she will go or not, but I want to take them either way. I just think it would be good to show them that w and I can still function as mom and dad and can still be around each other for their benefit. That it's not just lip service when we say that. But I worry that it will send mixed messages to the kids...

So yeah.. Still pretty down but slowly surfacing. Time to go see a movie. Haven't been able to connect with friends to join me, so it may just be me, but I need the distraction right now. And movies dont give you a hangover