Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Husband Left...Part 3

What does his behavior tell you?

Maybe I am not seeing it. Please explain.

Last night he did mention something. He said when he went to kiss me good night the other night, I turned my head so he kissed me on the cheek. Then I sent him a pic via text message. He said that I was sending him mixed signals.

I told him that I thought he wanted my cheek instead of my lips and he said no. That I was silly.

Do you think the "I hate you" comment was playful or truthful? Either way, to me, it's a terrible thing to say.

It sounds to me like you are pursuing. I'm no expert, but it sounds to me like you need to GAL more and go dark as much as possible.

On the boards it's hard to see the whole situation but from what you post, it seems you are his fall back. Is that OK with you?

I agree with NTX_Dad, I haven't read all your threads but what I have read is all about him or how you can pursue him.

You are worth more!

I am scared if I go dark, then I am just pushing him towards her or someone else. When he tells me hates me, I don't believe it. I think deep down inside he wants to hate me but can't. I may be wrong here. I don't feel like I have pursue him. Am I missing something here?

I've skimmed thru your other threads. Honey, your husband is doing what he does. You talked to his ex-wife.

I see that you bought the DR book. Did you read it?

Someone else mentioned books on codependence. Did you read any of those.

Can you list 3 things you've done to GAL?

What 180s are you doing?

He's already gone, at least if you go dark he might have a chance to miss you.

Hope won't fix this, you have to work on you, as hard as it seems. Your daughter is depending on YOU.

You are right. I need to go dark. I feel like he is using me to help him with our D when he has her.

I did ask him if he wanted to do something tomorrow night and he said that he had plans but if they fell threw, he would let me know. How to make someone feel second. I told him that since he didn't want to do something together, then I would go ahead with my plans. He asked what kind of plans did I have. I told him that I was some friends for drinks.

I need to dim/dark and work on detaching again. I hate this!!!!

Feeling sad, depressed and sorry for myself today. Missing my husband really bad. I think because we had contact all week because of our D and now that I have her, I am not hearing from him at all. It's hard to do anything with her right now because I can't pick her for 6 wks due to have surgery. And she is asking for her daddy. Which is playing on my heart strings.

How do I know if I am wasting my time grieving for him? Will he ever come back? I thought I was seeing some positives this past week, but now as I am thinking about it, he was just using me.

Hey Hopeful, I am so sorry you are feeling so down today. Not being able to pick your daughter up is reason enough to feel horrible.

How do I know if I am wasting my time grieving for him? Will he ever come back?

Unfortunately, none of us has a clue how our sitc are going to turn out and that is probably the most difficult thing to deal with throughout all of this. Personally, I am TRYING to move on in my head and picture a happy life without my W. It is not easy, but I realize that I need to protect myself from getting hurt anymore.

I am sorry that you feel like your H was using you. Now that you know this it gives you a little bit of power because you can decide how you are going to handle the sitch diffrently the next time it arises.

Try to take it easy and hang in there!

I want to be like my H and just turn my emotions and my feelings off for him, but I can't.

He is on call Monday and he said he may need my help with our D. So, if I receive a text from him asking for my help, I am going to tell him that I have plans. And if he calls me, then I will let it go straight to voice mail. If it's important he will leave a message.

I am going to stop being so available to him.