Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Divorced, But Not Done Advice on how to get him back

Hi Ashyah,

I was just cruising around the boards and decided to drop in on your thread.

I have an autistic son (Aspergers is on the autism spectrum). I wouldn't put any weight behind someone speculating that your X has Aspergers. Believe me, Aspergers is more than just being a little aloof. It is debilitating.

If I understand your posts correctly, you were a WAS, and things kinda flipped into you feeling more like the LBS. You feel that he still loves you, and you feel the same.

Sounds like a pretty tough place to be.

Here's a another link that you may find helpful. I'm sure you can relate to them from the perspective of the WAS, and now the LBS. Maybe it'll give you some insight as to why you pulled away from hour X and why your X behaves the way he does.

For Spouses of Walkaways

Nicky was very much in the same place as you. She was the WAS, and then changed her mind. Maybe you can relate to what she had to say.

Of course, if I'm way off base, then maybe this won't speak to you. Just dropping it here in case it might be of some help.

Good luck, Ash.

Hello Ans,

Thank you for your information.

I do see my x responding to things when he feels comfortable with it.
He is very dedicated to our daughter. They live together and, he does a lot of things with her.

I know that some of the problems I was to blame also. I have had to work on some things.

I will read that post

Ashyah

Another thing...yesterday I ran out of gas I called him for a gas can since he was nearby.First he said that he didn't have a can then he called back and, said he found one. We met at the gas station he bought gas and, went back with me to my car and , filled it up. I said thank you and got in the car.
I used to work hard at smiling at him which I do now. I used to hug him then stopped. Now I find it hard to hug him. Before I hugged him to get him to hug me back and, it didn't come from the heart.

Ash

have you read the books that form the basis of this site? They're crucial for you to read. Either read the first one "Div Busting" or read "The Divorce Remedy" (I prefer the latter).

If you do not read these books you won't get nearly as much from this site as you could.

So,

You left him. How old are you and how old is he?

And how long were you married?

What is your goal in coming here? Do you want to reconcile? Why?

Also since you left him some time ago, why do you care if other women are interested in him?

I mean, do you see how he could feel it's none of your business? Is it possible that you broke his heart?

We can better help you if we know what the real issues are in your relationship. A lot of what you say sounds vague to me.


Why'd you leave him? Did you want to punish him, get him to change or did you want to divorce him?

What has changed your mind, if anything?


How have YOU changed since leaving him?


Do you understand that You only control YOU?