Got a shut off notice from my water company yesterday, and realized the little cash i had for xmas presents for boys will have to be used to pay that today. I will have no money for xmas now and am dreading xmas morning and waking up with boys to nothing. Its times like this that my anger toward H is hard to put aside..all i can think is im sure he and OW will have a wonderful first christmas together...so special and romantic, we are just an ugly memory he chooses not to think about H hasnt even asked anything about xmas and obviously doesnt care...
Me:48 H:42 M: 18 yrs. S: 9/1/09 due to alcoholic H D bomb: 9/9/11 OW confirmed 10/30/11 D papers filed 11/01/11 S15 S21(Special needs) S28
Look to yourself, It is there that all your answers are found...
OMG! ITM, that is horrible. I'm so sorry you are having such a terrible time. I wish I were in a better position so I could help but I'm not far rom the same situation. All I can say is try to get creative. Some ideas (I know they aren't gifts but the true spirit of Christmas is really being together anyway):
1)Christmas movie marathon. Do you own DVD's of Christmas favorites? If not, you could problaby check some out from your local library or rent them on Christmas Eve from a redbox.
2) Family game day. Do you have favorite board games or a video game system you could all play together?
3) I don't know what part of CA you are in but during my childhood when my family was pretty cash poor we used to go down to Newport in the early evening and walk the boardwalk. The beach houses usually had really cool decorations looking out toward the walkway and you can't beat the view on the opposite side. The Pacific does have a marvelous look and sound.
4)Take a drive up to the mountains (again, not sure what area you are in) and check out the little villages.
5)If you have a little bit of money, just not enough for typical gifts you would get them, go hit the thrift stores. They have all sorts of great things that are gently used.
Tell me this, do you have enough to have a nice Christmas dinner for them? What is your traditional Christmas meal?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
ITM, *hugs* I don't even know what to say. Just... *hugs* Abs
T:22, M:20 H:55 Me:45 H-OW PA: N/07 OW Jan08 Bomb:Feb/08 S: Apr/08 Back together Ap1/09-Sept/11 Oct, 2011, uncertain future/H is a mess. Dec/11 - Doin'friend mode. Some days are better than others.
contact your h and tell him he needs to send money asap
Have you seen the L yet? This can't go on.
You must protect yourself and your kids
and sometimes legal action is the only thing YOU CAN DO...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
if your h is still seeing SOME counselor, whether for coparenting or divorcing or AA or whatever
let the c know that you are in dire straits...
also, I wonder if your older sons can help you out a bit (as a back up plan) for their little brother to have a decent Christmas.
How is your job/hunt going?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
The last time i asked him for extra money he said and i quote" if i were living in a cardboard box, you would still ask me for money"... I wont do that again... He is giving me the agreed upon child support but obviously its not enough. We meet with L on monday so maybe she can get something... No, i dont have money for dinner..our usual was prime rib, H favorite, with all the trimmings...its unbelievable how my life was a year ago, and now its reduced to me, sitting in a parking lot, crying because i just handed all my cash to some lady who has no clue why this crazy person is tearing up while paying her water bill.... I have never felt so low...i just gotta make it threw i guess.
Me:48 H:42 M: 18 yrs. S: 9/1/09 due to alcoholic H D bomb: 9/9/11 OW confirmed 10/30/11 D papers filed 11/01/11 S15 S21(Special needs) S28
Look to yourself, It is there that all your answers are found...
The reason I ask is that I stopped making 'traditional' Christmas dinner the Christmas after xh left. I couldn't face making all that stuff and slaving over it for just us so I started making a seafood lasagne instead. It's not a super cheap meal but it's cheaper than ham and all the fixings. If spaghetti is their favorite dinner, then make that. It costs next to nothing!!!!!! My son would be quite happy with box mac and cheese and hot dogs. It's just a matter of taking a family vote.
Make this Christmas all about them.
Now, if there is no money left at all for any groceries, get yourself to the county food bank....NOW. Swallow your pride. There are so many people in this country living just the way you are now. I'm one of them too. We're called the working poor. There is no shame in it. If you are anything like me then you haven't had a raise in 8+ years and with inflation you are paying 25%-50% more for everything than you were just a year ago. I understand completely, I'm in the same boat.
Remember, you have friends here. A group of friends from here who I have never met got together and did something wonderful for me and my son a couple of years ago. Some day I will be able to pay that forward but in the meantime I am here to support you as much as I can.
ITM, do you have any contact with anyone here on the boards through FB? If so, you may have a friend who knows me or how to get in touch with me. Reach out if you can sweetie.
I'm so sorry your H is being such a d!ck!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
