Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy H took my son to buy me a gift

Who tells you what he is buying or thinking of buying? Does someone in his family tell you things? If so, what do they say about his attitude towards you?

I think it's great he has connected with his biological family. Perhaps while you were together he just didn't feel ready to find them. It can be really stressful to meet a sister and mother you never knew.

How do you plan to handle things after the first of the year?

vc

"She sold her car i think i dont see it anymore."

Are you still stalking him?

"it really bothers me the money he is spending on her. Hes looking at a 3000 massage chair now for their living room."

None of your concern.

I think you missed the point of everyone's posts to you or are just choosing to stay stuck in one position. The thing is that you are fixating too much on the OW without working on yourself. You're pissed that he's driving around with the OW, so you are going to push legal action. Weren't you doing that already?

And if you were going to do that, why did you accept the car from him? He's been trying his hardest to stay connected to you by giving money, the car, talking about his life etc. but you can't get past the OW.

"to bad i missed out on this."

You're not missing out on it because he just told you about it. You're just not choosing to see it that way.

If you don't like him right now and can't accept him as the person you see before you right now, what's taking so long with the D? It's obvious you want to get back together with him, yet you condemn him for his music choices, etc. What do you want?

I am addicted to going to the dating sites. i have been talking to this guy from CT hes a chiropractor and we are suppose to go for dinner fri. night. i dont think i should go though. i think he is a player. He has been calling me every night for the past 2 wks, but didnt call me last night, i think he was on a date and i fell rejected.
after going through this m stuff for 5 yrs im really lonely and vulnerable. maybe this isnt a good idea but im hooked on looking for love on these sites. i dont know why i get addicted to things i know arent good for me.
i told my therapist i wanted to come every 2 wks instead of 3 and she said i dont want you to be to dependent on me.

Dolphin, try to take back control over yourself. If you're really addicted to dating sites try taking a break from them for a while, set a date to go back but work on being happy in yourself for a while.

If you don't think you should go to dinner, cancel it (hurry, it's Thursday) or postpone it. If you haven't been out with him yet and he's out on dates that doesn't make him a player. But don't go on your first dinner with a guy and expect to be bf/gf and exclusive already. If that makes you feel rejected you might be too needy to date yet. Lonely OK I get that but vulnerable? Why? How? What can you do to repair that? A man can't fix it.

Try to think like your therapist so you learn to have confidence that you can take care of you.

See it's posts like this last one that lead me to believe:

1) That your sitch isn't real, or
2) You come here seeking attention and seriously need professional help

You talked about your H's OW car being missing, then when I asked if you were stalking him you didn't respond.

You've never mentioned anything about being "addicted" to dating sites, yet have never said anything until now. You complain about how a chiropracter is checking you out and is really nice, yet he's a player without even meeting him. Again this part goes back to your paranoia about everyone being out to get you.

Then you talk about how your therapist said you shouldn't be so dependent on her. This is something you mentioned EXACTLY word for word about a year ago. I don't know any therapists that would tell you that a year ago and continue to see you.

And lastly, you talk about how you should start filing, etc. Yet didn't you say that you did that already? Talking to a L, getting your paperwork, etc.

We're all here to help real people who want to help heal themselves and/or their marriages. If your sitch is real, then I really do feel for you, if not, don't waste our time to just give you pity. Get the help you need and not just attention.

BTW, I say that in the most honest and compassionate way possible.

No im not stalking but i want to know if she is driving the other car he bought with h money. No this story is not ficticious. i plan on filing after the holidays i couldnt take that stress for holidays and ruin it for son.
I cut back on therapist to every 3 wks cuz i have to pay out of pocket 6 mos ago, and when i asked if i could come every 2 wks she said no cuz to dependent. im going to go to a new counselor on mon. thru my ins. if im going to file i need alot of support.
like i said before i would not waste my time making up this story that rediculous.

but in Bond's defense, out of nowhere you declare that you are "addicted" to dating sites (I never knew you were on ANY dating sites)

and then you say you "met" a nice guy who wants to take you out and has called you every night. The ONE night he does not call you, as if he's obligated to,

means he's a player and you are so afraid of getting hurt you will prevent it by preventing ANY relationship from happening.

And you don't see how sad that is? SIGH...

I think you should do whatever it takes, to get better. No offense intended, but

you seem to lack the basic skills of how to make yourself happy and

your thought process seems to generate negative feelings in you.

That means you need help. No shame in that, but get the help.

im going to the new therapist on mon. maybe because my father walked out when i was young it effected my trust in relationships. i have talked about this in counseling but it hasnt helped over 20 yrs.
Im meeting the Dr for dinner tomorrow at a restaurant, an hr away. i dont think it will lead to any thing long term, (im not ready for that anyway) because of distance but it will be nice to go on a date. Im lonely and i deserve some fun, ive been alone long enough, life is to short to keep waiting. If i dont find a man soon i will be to old, and they wont want me.

I didnt mention about the dating site, because i know that it would probably not be recommeded on here at this time. Im 52 yrs old i cant wait any longer.

Don't you think that you should do the work on yourself first so that you can go on and have a healthy R with someone? If you don't you're going to fall back into the same old patterns that helped destroy your M. No, I'm not saying you only are to blame, but until you can face your own issues head on and deal with them, you won't find what you're looking for, because no one would ever be able to fulfill your needs and expectations.