"Right now, my W would have a whole lot of convincing to do if she wanted to come back. I would certainly be willing to work with her, but I absolutely can't return to the old M. No way."
JB I am going through this^^^^^^. The need to beg and for her to reconsider is lessening. I guess that is normal. So keep moving forward as you are. They will join us if they want if not we will be ok.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
"Right now, my W would have a whole lot of convincing to do if she wanted to come back. I would certainly be willing to work with her, but I absolutely can't return to the old M. No way."
JB I am going through this^^^^^^. The need to beg and for her to reconsider is lessening. I guess that is normal. So keep moving forward as you are. They will join us if they want if not we will be ok.
Yes! I sent an email to H this week about taxes (joint vs separate, etc) that included this line: You've made it clear that you are finished with the marriage, and I, too believe that that realtionship is dead
"that" relationship was unhealthy for both of us but its demise doesn't preclude a new relationship. If a new relationship were to develop it would have some boundaries from the get-go, with counseling being number 1 on the list.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
I have been feeling the same way lately as a few of the more recent posts. Things would definitely have to change for my w and I to begin to R. It is mind boggling to see how we go from begging and doing absolutely anything to get our WAS back to not knowing if we want them back to not wanting them back, etc. All aboard the personal and relationship coaster.
JB I also see great things for you in the future. You have grown SO MUCH since you first started posting. Not to mention have made the rest of us feel like lazy bums for not exercising.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
JB I also see great things for you in the future. You have grown SO MUCH since you first started posting. Not to mention have made the rest of us feel like lazy bums for not exercising.
I know! After reading endless posts about how many miles you walk, run, or bike every day, I've been thinking to myself, "Hey, I can do that, too." You go, Mr. Lalanne!
JB I am going through this^^^^^^. The need to beg and for her to reconsider is lessening. I guess that is normal. So keep moving forward as you are. They will join us if they want if not we will be ok.
Yes, I think I've been here for awhile. I was just thinking about it today, though. I did cut the external pursuing very early in my situation. However, the internal pursuing persisted. She never saw it, but it was there. As of late however, the internal pursuing seems to be going away. That is, if any of that makes sense.
"that" relationship was unhealthy for both of us but its demise doesn't preclude a new relationship. If a new relationship were to develop it would have some boundaries from the get-go, with counseling being number 1 on the list.
I'm feeling ya on this one, labug. I've been thinking,too, that my W has not been all-in for several years. She started throwing out the D word several years back when we had an argument. That's a good word to put me on eggshells. Bottom line is I would need to see a strong level of committment for starters.
You go, Mr. Lalanne!