hahahaha! I hate roller coasters too! You're doing great Autumn. Remember, don't react too much to the good or the bad. Stay in one place. He's going to continue coming closer and pulling away. Make sure he can find you in the same spot each time.
I am so happy to hear about the GAL. That is very good!! You sound great today
And congrats on the weight loss... if nothing else, this has certainly been the best diet I've ever been on... hahahaha
You are absolutely right, I do have resentment and anger. Some over the initial A and some over some things that have occurred since then. Some of the anger is with myself for not being strong enough to draw some very clear boundaries for myself. I feel as if I have let myself down over the years all in the effort to keep my M, but now I see just how very unhealthy it was. I reacted so many times out of fear, and I finally feel strong enough that I won't let that happen any longer.
I think I need to find a good counselor just for me and my own issues. I'll be working on that in the coming week.
I do believe that I want my M but not the one that I've had recently. I want a new and healthy M
Boy do I have a lot of work ahead of me. One step at a time!
Hello Autumn, Just catching up on your sitch,welcome aboard. As lost said, you are way ahead of the ballgame, much more in tune with the work that you will have to do to bring bring your r to where you want it.
Keep posting around like you are, you will get more posts this way. There is a great deal of experience on this board, and people will share their advice freely.
In additon to reading the dr books, I would suggest that you also try to read the 5 Love languages, and The Solo Partner, which has a great chapter on pursuers and distancers. Good luck, keep up the good work! Gunny
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
You are absolutely right, I do have resentment and anger. Some over the initial A and some over some things that have occurred since then. Some of the anger is with myself for not being strong enough to draw some very clear boundaries for myself. I feel as if I have let myself down over the years all in the effort to keep my M, but now I see just how very unhealthy it was. I reacted so many times out of fear, and I finally feel strong enough that I won't let that happen any longer.
I think I need to find a good counselor just for me and my own issues. I'll be working on that in the coming week.
I do believe that I want my M but not the one that I've had recently. I want a new and healthy M
Boy do I have a lot of work ahead of me. One step at a time!
This is a healthy attitude, Autumn. If you can gather your strength from the situation you will be able to deal with the highs and lows that are coming.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
Autumn, Welcome to the board. I think you're off to a great start. From what you've been through over the last several years, I think you're definitely heading for a better place, regardless of the final outcome. Do your best to stay off your H's roller coaster. Keep on GAL'ing - this can be key! At least it has been in my case. Build a life for yourself!
Just keep taking it like you said - one step at a time. Baby steps. I think you are starting to see the picture of what you want and you are willing to put in some hard work.
Thank you all, hearing that my attitude is healthy is a good reminder to keep on that track. It's not always easy for me, and I know that I will have my ups and downs. I am actively looking for an IC and hope to get an appt within the week. I can feel depressed and try to fight my way out of it but can only do so much.
Never did get that walk on my lunch break, work got busy. I am going to go out now and take advantage of it before the sun goes down. I sure don't like losing daylight so early in the day.
Looking forward to the CMA's tonight, sometimes its the little things
Having a rough start this morning, and trying to shake off the mental fog. I hate feeling this way but hold on to the hope that by doing the hard work eventually I will be closer to living a life that I've hoped for rather than the one that I am living now. It's kind of crazy how I have gotten so used to hiding what is really going on. So many people would be shocked if they really knew.
I hate feeling this way but hold on to the hope that by doing the hard work eventually I will be closer to living a life that I've hoped for rather than the one that I am living now.
You'll get there. It takes effort and time, but you know that.
Thank you Grace! Ironically I was just trying to figure that out now. I have an appointment with my nutritionist tonight. I was searching for an Al Anon meeting that I could hopefully go to before the nutritionist, but unfortunately they are all at the same time.
Really looking forward to seeing some girlfriends tomorrow night. It's odd, it feels like an effort to get out and do something fun. It shouldn't be difficult but somehow it is. I hold onto the hope that one day it won't be difficult any longer
