Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy H took my son to buy me a gift

I did not say anything about your w i dont even know her. I said maybe you were critical of her too. You moral beliefs are different from mine. I take the best for me and leave the rest as far as advice goes. Everyone has there own views. You have yours and i have mine.

I will not compromise what i believe in.

I'm missing something here DbMod. At times I've started to give up here on this thread, but then I come back to try and focus on a positive.

Other times I think that enables a "game" to go on and then I want to quit for good and go where I make a real difference.

I don't know if we can always know if we are making a difference though.

I guess I need clarification from you.

Thank you for this insightful message.

"I will not compromise what i believe in."

The point of everyone's post to you wasn't that you need to compromise what you believe in. It's that you should (again you don't have to) try to be a little more understanding of other people's POV. In the case of your son, what if he did start liking heavy metal or was gay or whatever. You don't have to take a person's personal beliefs as your own, but you don't have a right to judge them just as much as you wouldn't want them to judge you.

This doesn't just apply to your H. The other men you went out with (which you said weren't dates) you were critical of them as well.

If you want to find true and honest love, that's a big hurdle that should be overcome IMHO. No one wants to go out with someone whom they think judges them. You have standards, sure. But so do they.

"I dont think you have changed. maybe you were critical of your wife thats what she didnt like"

For the record, she had an A with her boss right after she had our second daughter. Borderline post-partum and MLC. That's why she left.

BTW, I still believe you should contact your H to start actually co-parenting your son together. Put aside your differences so your son has a stable base of trust from both of you.

You blaming your H and showing resentment (and you do from your comments about him) isn't a good example for your son. Even if you don't say anything directly to your son about your feelings towards your H, he will pick them up.

are you living with your wife now? is she still with om? Do you ever discuss your situation on here?

I think one of the points that keeps getting lost here that that people continue to encourage you to quit defining your life in terms of someone else and start living your life for YOU.

How do i define my own life.? I dont feel like a success, because i dont have my own career and im not earning a lot of money. I feel stuck in a way because i cant work more because it would effect the amount of alimony i would get, even if i could find work in this economy..

Rys,

You know what I like about your last post?

(And yes, I'd like you to answer that ....)