Yes, this makes sense. Thank you for replying back.
Can you talk some sense into my H for me? LOL
This all is really driving me crazy. I'm not sleeping, even with my sleeping pills. I go to bed and try not to think about him, but my brain keeps going there. I finally fall asleep then I wake up thinking about this mess with him.
I wish this was a bad dream and I would wake up and everything would be all right. Wishful thinking!
I know Hope... that's the moment in most days that's hardest for me... Yesterday morning I woke up and was in the wake-up fog. I could swear I had this dream where my W was leaving me... and then in a split second it all comes rushing in that it isn't a dream. That moment... that impact is what's debilitating. Most of the rest of the day it's manageable for me, but in that moment when I realize reality, again, it suxx.
Married 6 together 8 Me:38 W:31 second marriage for both SS12, SD10, S6 Bomb: 9/8/11 (day before our 5 yr ann) W moved out: 2/18/12 D final: 11/12/12 Share S 50/50. Spend as much time as I can with SS & SD
I am having a hard day today. I really miss him. I am trying not to think about him, but it's hard. I feel wierd on the inside, if that makes sense. I can't really explain it myself. I thought I was getting better until I found out he is involved with a co-worker. I wonder if he has really given up on us.
If he had given up you would know, because he wouldn't seek you out. He still looks for physical affection from you, he still calls / texts you. He still has feelings for you. He's messed up inside, not you.
I still believe he's trying to manipulate and control you. Your best bet is not to play that game.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
I really appreciate you saying that. I been thinking about the other things you have said like if he was truly "empty" for me then he wouldn't had sex with me, be kissing me and slapping my bottom.
One of the things you have to be careful of is timelines. I get what you're saying about an "idea", but timelines can swallow you whole if you let them.
I am curious here, how long does the WAS stay with the OW or OM? I know it's different for different people, but and idea would be nice.
I know exactly where you are in asking this. My W has been with OM for almost six months now (living with him for four months), so I've caught myself thinking: "It's getting to the six-month mark. Shouldn't they be over by now?" Then again, timelines are tricky, and so are human beings. Unfortunately, you'll just have to let time do its thing in the end and see what happens.
I have studied many A's and have noticed that most of them seem to die out pretty quickly on the grand scheme of things once the shine comes off. This may mean months, but usually not years. It also helps to detach, I think. Once they're getting nothing but OP, they might realize that they're only getting 20% and leaving the 80% behind.
