Very thankful to have the day off today. Trying to get the house in order for Thanksgiving. My mother and brother will be coming to have dinner with us, and I'm really looking forward to seeing them both.
I am also going to take some time for me today. I think that part is getting easier the more I do it I made a last minute appointment for a massage and pedicure this afternoon. I am really looking forward to it!! I think it will be a great stress reliever and hopefully carry me through the weekend. I'm nervous about H being home for that length of time, and hoping that I don't fall down on my DB. Keeping aware of it should help.
While cleaning Jesus Take the Wheel by Carrie Underwood came on. I cranked it up and really sang along, good thing nobody was here :-) I sure can't sing. It felt really good and is a fantastic reminder to me. By GAL and doing minor 180's I am not as focused on my sitch these past few days. Now if I can just work on those boundaries. I am so careful to not rock the boat but sometimes it is out of my control. One day at a time
It sounds as though you are keeping busy! I love girlfriends. I have a ton, and a nice, fun group if BFF's. They have kept me sane over the years.
How was Thanksgiving? We went to my aunts. I hit a pass this year, having just moved, and didn't have to do a thing, but show up w/my kids, and eat! Yay!
How is your employee? Sounds like a stressful day!!
Does your son have Homecoming this late? Wow! Ours was in mid-Sept, which was WAY too early. At the time, my son had a girlfriend, so he had the date covered... My D20 and I took him to Nordstroms, and, courtesy of a personal shopper, got him outfitted for his first dance in about 15 min. But, what a bill!!! So fun, though. And, powderpuff rocks. I played. My daughter played. And, my boys WILL cheer!!!
Hope H is evening out. Tell us what's happening.
I'm all moved in, and remarkably settled already. I really like order, so we got to it right away. Everyone is exhausted, but the new home looks great! New paint, furniture, etc... Now, new memories!
Be good!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Happy Thanksgiving to you too! First one in the new house must feel wonderful. It sounds like you are settled in nicely. It's so great that you spent it at your aunts, stress free is good.
Mine was nice as well, so good to have the kids home and the weather was beautiful, it is still in the 60's today. Odd but pleasant weather.
Had a chance to see my mom's family Thursday and my dad's family on Friday. We also went to see H's family after dinner on Thursday. It was difficult at times, and we didn't spend any time together. Just trying to be myself and not let on that anything has been wrong in front of his family. Overall I think it went well. The holidays are much tougher.
The rest of the weekend I went about my business, did usual errands and relaxed a bit. H did the same, did his usual errands and some work around the house. It was nice not to have the extreme pressure that we seemed to be dancing around quite often lately. Who would have thought that no R talk would be a relief to me as well? But it really was a relief.
This morning as H was leaving he said "It was a nice weekend, I am going to miss you today" It was nice to hear.
I am not reading too much into it other than the weekend was mostly peaceful.
The kids and I set up the Christmas tree yesterday. We didn't decorate yet but starting to get ready for the holidays. I'm focusing on what I do have right now, and trying to be grateful everyday.
Powderpuff is this Thursday, thanks to the awful weather the other night. I can't wait to see him cheering. The boys have been practicing so hard. I'm not sure why they are having the game this late, we had Homecoming in September as well.
i've been reading your posts for the few weeks that i've been here and i've been impressed by your resolve to change yourself and to make things better for you and your children with the idea that a side benefit could be to model behavior for your husband to see and to, eventually, save your marriage.
i don't have any advice to offer being too new to the forum and also just starting this whole process myself. i recognize there are things about myself/actions/behaviors that have had poor outcomes and i would like to change those and, at the same time, i feel pretty happy with who i am as a person, as a unique human being of intrinsic value and worth and thus think that i should be loved as i am, flaws, scars, imperfections and all. alas, that is my view and not one that my W shares with me.
i have, finally, taken off my ring.... but then i put it back on and took it off again. i have no idea why i'm doing that however i think that it may be an external aspect of my feelings of detachment through this whole process of divorcing. she's made it clear that she isn't interested in working this out with me that the issues are irreconcilable and that she's going to move on with her life.
i have to respect that and take her seriously so i'm working through it as best that i can. it's been 94 days of tears for me and, yesterday, was the first day that i haven't wept for what is happening. progress? i can't really say however i do know that i feel very little compulsion to give in to her demands regarding who i am and what i like in life.
perhaps it is the case for me that this relationship is well and truly done. the thing is, for me at least, is that she's the first person in my life that i've ever really trusted to let inside my walls...and if we could both change and develop a new relationship, i would like that very much. i don't want what we had but i'd like to have something new with her, if that makes sense.
thank you for sharing your story, it helps me to feel not so alone and isolated when i hear that others are struggling with many of the same issues and are desirous for their marriage to remain intact. i have friends that encourage me to read the writing on the wall and get myself out before too much damage to my self-esteem and self-worth are inflicted. whilst they mean well they don't really know me well and don't know what i really want even when i tell them. i suppose they can see it from the outside and it probably looks very different to them than it does to me.
we set up our xmas tree and decorated it this weekend as well. i went to bed in the basement early last night. she opened the basement door and called down to me and when she realized i was asleep she slammed the door shut. i don't know what she wanted and i'm not going to ask. if she wants to tell me she will.
Hi JaeC, thanks so much for your response. I completely agree with you that somehow reading other posts helps to feel less alone. So much in this, I am feeling confused, frustrated and many times alone. It is a hard road to travel.
I truly hope that this will help my marriage. I really do love my H, but if nothing else I know that ultimately I will be helping myself and my sons.
Getting back to a routine this week will be good, although have to admit that first day back yesterday was very tough. Now that I am over that hump, I think I'm ok.
Thankfully things are pretty busy around here this week. In addition to the kids activities I am going to be sure to plan some GAL activities for myself.
Today is a very tough day for some reason, nothing in particular happened but feeling the emotions bubbling up more than usual. I think it is because of a dream that I had this morning. It was H and I together and very loving, how I wish that things could be again. I guess waking up to reality was tough.
I am taking myself to a movie after work. I don't want to be out past the kids bed times, but I also want to be out for a bit over dinner. S17 has practice tonight but he drives himself. Movies are always a good diversion, and hopefully it will help me a bit.
As I hit the post button, I got a reality check and set my priorities again. My S17 was just accepted to his first choice school and is on cloud 9. He is calling all of the grandparents to tell them and just can't stop smiling. I am so very happy for him. We are all going to be ok! (need to keep repeating this)
Congrats - wonderful news! Even in a rotten day a little good news can help pull you out of a funk. Focus on the blessings!
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
I made a last minute appointment for a massage and pedicure this afternoon. I am really looking forward to it!! I think it will be a great stress reliever and hopefully carry me through the weekend. I'm nervous about H being home for that length of time, and hoping that I don't fall down on my DB. Keeping aware of it should help.