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Sounds good PERSEVERENCE!

Thanks for sharing that WHG.


I agree with you completely. It sounds like a good idea to head this off now rather to try to deal with it after D. Hopefully my W's ears would hear it.

Thanks for that, DG. ((())) Sometimes I feell like she's giving me every reason in the book to want a D myself.

Thanks, Val.


You can say that again, Val.


I agree completely. In this case it was about both my S and me. It's primarily about my S. I won't hesistate to have my S's back.

Less drama today.

I started the day off with a 27 mile bike ride on the bike path. It was about 44 degress out, so it was a little tough riding. It also meant I wasn't here when my W came to pick up my S.

I was invited to come to my Uncle's family Thanksgiving dinner. I drove about 50 minutes, picked up my Mom, and drove another hour and ten minutes. I had a great time up there. Helped me not miss going to my W's family Thanksgiving too much.

My W texted me saying her morally bankrupt friend's wanted to spend the night with my S at her place and then just hang out with her at work tomorrow. So instead of her bringing my S in the morning, she'll bring him over after work. I waited awhile and texted her back with, "I guess. What time will you bring him?" It's OK. she gave me a respecatble time. I'm hoping that's what he wants. Not exactly any sort of quality time for her with my S.

So, I think with y'all's help, getting some exercise, and having a good Thanksgiving, I'm feeling a lot better today.

Last night I ended up watching a movie I'd rented at the library by myself. Then I stayed up way too late doing nothing productive, actually the opposite.

I got up today and rebounded, though. It was an absolutely beautiful day here. The temperature got into the lower 60s. I decided to hit the bike path again. Today I rode 31 miles.

My W brought my S over after work, and she was early. I can't say I did a really job of being upbeat and positive. TBH, I'm still ticked off about the other day. I engaged in a little small talk. For the most part, I just kept doing my post ride stretching and didn't say too much. I was probably a little cold. Her attitude and actions are making me a little more ambivalent toward the D. I am more than willing to put more work into it. However, if she's not willing to make in changes or improvements in herself, I start feeling like I could do much better. A lot of those things that irritated me that I'd been able to shelve start re-surfacing.

My S and I went out to dinner tonight. We actually went to Texas Roadhouse for a decent sit-down dinner. We came home and played some Wii. I enjoy spending time with my S. After I shook off the funk, it turned out to be a pretty good day.

There's very likely some truth in this statement. She may not even be conscious of it, but right now she's all about herself and her needs. Frankly, you're probably lucky she gives your S as much thought as she does... and that's doesn't appear to be a great deal. If a M is about working together to help each other get their needs met and grow... well, she certainly isn't doing that, is she? So naturally you'd want someone who would do that with you.

If she shows you how bad a W she really is and her "true" self then maybe you'll do the heavy lifting of the D. And maybe you will... MWD says that sometimes a spouse truly is done with the M and it cannot be salvaged. She doesn't say that person can only be the WAS.

My W is in this nexus right now. She keeps telling me that I am seeing who she really is now. Out until 5 or 6am, partying like a rockstar at least every weekend and sometimes more often, binge drinking, etc... At the same time I know that's not really her. It's her right now for whatever reason. At some point she was the mom who would pass up a party night to spend it with her kids and play board games. So who is she really? I don't know. I'm willing to hang on for a while and see who wins out.

JB andWHG I am starting to feel the same. I don't know if want to be M to my W. She has not made any changes and thinks the grass is greener elsewhere. My sitch is very different I don't think there is OP. My W just wants ride her horse and work. I want more from a partner. Have a great one

JB,
Sorry that you have to get that type of text right before the holiday, you are doing a great job of contining on your GAL Path. As much as it can affect your s, in the whole scheme of things, it could be just a temporary bump in your road. She is still communicating with you, and told you ahead of time that she was going to be having this guys around. She didnt have to do that.

Glad you set the boundry, she will respect you for doing so. She knows where you stand on the subject. Lets see how this plays out.

12 mile bike ride along the river this morning, beautiful day, in the 60's.

Hang in there JB

WHG I feel your pain. For me, it's all about doing the right thing for me, my S, and my M. I will try every last thing to save my M. But primarily, I am going to continue on the track to shoot for being my best possible self.