Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers PA - Confirmed - Blinkers are off.

Yes, OM is gone. Despite NYCPeter's many difficult months of treading water he's just coming up to the starting line of where DB can actually make forward progress IF he sticks to the program. W is reeling, hurting, on the fence. The "in love" chemicals have worn off and she's emerging from her haze and looking at the scorched earth all around her.

Now is when she starts to think about what she's doing. The rollercoaster is going to kick into high gear. She will run hot and cold.

Now is the time to detach and be your own man! Read the book again if you can. Start again on the 180's and act as if.

Good luck, I'm pulling for you.

Accuray

What Gnosis said ^^^ ...

She also hasn't committed to the M, either...

Waffling, from my seat...

Keep DBing, NYC... SHE needs to reach out to you and willingly and without pressure from you, offer to work on the M... otherwise it could all be empty words...

"Believe none of ..." You know the saying...

And what Accuray said... ^^^

Thanks everyone.

OM has gone for the younger model.
W has not committed to M - I have made it clear I am willing to start fresh - she says she doesn't know whether she trusts the changes (which I call BS to, as she wasn't interested in the changes while the OM was around).

Went to the in-laws for dinner last night, W and girls stayed there to hang around with family - I came home. Pleasant, detached and I "acted" as if everything was normal.

Round of golf today - I've been invited to stay over at a friend's place overnight - now that would set her mind thinking (I never do that) - could be a 180 and have her wondering where I was.

"I've been invited to stay over at a friend's place overnight - now that would set her mind thinking (I never do that) - could be a 180 and have her wondering where I was."

Do it! You're not "married" at the moment and don't need to ask permission. So do it! Go get that life you've been talking about!

Perfect! It would have been better if she had broken up with him.....but this is the next best thing! She may feel scorned and act out, IDK.

My suggestion is to keep acting as if you are normal (especially during holiday season), and don't give her any "reminders" of how you feel or what you want.

Well I came home (I can still go back).
W has gone to work - and left her wedding / engagement ring on the sideboard.
It's in a place where I can see it and deliberately taken off (in a plate where she keeps other jewellry) i.e. deliberate - not just to do dishes or anything. It's where she left them when I moved out for a week.

She knows this will hurt me and make me feel bad.

Think... who the hell cares! She is going to do what she is going to do. Go do your thing and don't think about it. Are you going to spend the night at the friends house? If that is still an option, take advantage of the offer. Let your W come home and find you not there and her rings still where she left them.

NYC,

Go over to your friends house! It's Friday night of Thanksgiving weekend! Time to relax, for own good anyway! That's why we get holiday weekends. Forget DBing for a moment, just go relax to relax.

Just go be a dude for a night.

I wish you well. Be safe.

I ended up staying at home - didn't fancy the 1hr ride back to my friends.

W came home at a reasonable hour - I know, I'm not creating a mystery or GAL. Truth is I would rather lie next to my W in bed. Though she definitely stayed on her side of the bed last night.

She put the rings back on today, maybe she just forgot them.

W went to work early as there was a wedding at the restaurant - got a peck and hug before she left (god I sound pathetic) - at least there was some affection.

I've spent the day with the girls and D6 is very excited she's seeing the muppets this evening.

Not sure W's state of affairs re: OM - I think she still wants out regardless - to her the OM was a symptom of our problems.

Keep doing 180s and trying to GAL.