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Val, et all,

Hunting has been a part of my life since I was very young. I have early childhood memories of helping mom prep small game for the pot. I was born into a farm family, and while we did not need to supplement the table with game it was something we did. Perhaps I am a throw back, but in the home I was raised in this was normal and natural.

Both of my children have taken their own game and we worked through the preparation from field to freezer to table. They possess the skills needed though the desire to participate waned as they grew into their lives. This is also normal and natural. I also grew into my life and began hunting again only when time permitted and I had someone in my life interested in these experiences and skills.

Should the need arise they can also drive a clutched vehicle though I think spur gears would give them trouble.

This trip is for Eastern Whitetail Deer. Friday will be with the bow, Saturday and Sunday will be with the rifle. I am licensed and tagged to bring two home. This is not trophy or blood lust although I will admit an adrenal reaction occurs during a bow hunt when I decide to make a shot. If I am fortunate enough to connect and bring home game from this trip it will go into the freezer and be shared.

If I am not fortunate enough to connect I will have at least spent time with family doing something constructive and spent time at peace away from the drama.

The costs associated with out of state licenses and tags gave me pause this year and I considered canceling, but this is a part of my life and family that stood apart from my R. This activity was not one of the items mentioned upon the list of faults. Time spent away was not listed. There is nothing to 180 here and if I did I would be permitting the BS of the last year to intrude.

Journaling: Saturday dawned cold and frosty but warmed. I took the dog for a short walk in the park and to the pet store for a toy and food. The staff at the pet store has seen him since he was a pup and he interacted nicely. Later I visited mom cleaned the gutters and ended my self-imposed light duty with a short trail run.

Saturday also saw the arrival of more drama from STBX. The bank notified me she had put through a change of address at the bank we hold our mortgage, HELOC and a CC at, redirecting all statements to her new home. The endorphins generated during the trail run were of great assistance putting her actions in perspective.

I called the bank today and the billing statements will continue to be directed to my home of record. It seems childish, but I need to ensure I see the billing statements as I am still making these payments. I have also canceled mailed paper statements and will now receive alerts through email of changes to any of these accounts.

Sunday I attended a fund raising breakfast for the local Venture Scout Crew my nephews, niece and one SIL still belong to, visiting with family and friends that also attended. I visited mom, took the dog for a walk, and made a couple of repairs to the gutters.

For the most part this was a mundane benign weekend.

JS, I saw you commented on my thread so I thought I would visit your neighborhood and see how you are doing. You are handling this as well as anybody could; I admire that. Good move on maintaining control of the billing statements. I did all of the daily finances, billpaying, taxes, etc. in our M so fortunately I did not have to deal with that.

Keep doing exactly what you are doing; you too are acting with integrity and honor.

TM,

Thank you for the shout out. I appreciate it.

Through the years we lived together we traded off the responsibility for household finances. We pooled our money and made big purchase decisions together. In the year leading to the bomb STBX was managing the finances and not happy about it, so I took it over for about the last 4 months leading to the bomb.

In her letter to me announcing her decision, control of finances, getting agreement about purchases and pooling our incomes were all listed as reasons for her departure. She resented my control of her money. She was quite angry about it.

When she departed one of her priorities seemed to be control over all of the income. I established separate accounts to protect myself and that aspect of this drama quieted. Now money as an issue is cycling back up in importance. I attribute this to the upcoming commercial holiday and her history of gift giving as an expression of love.

But enough reporting of the drama.

Our son is home from Afghanistan. This morning he sent me a text message announcing his arrival late last Sunday. We have exchanged a few texts. He has been spending time with his wife feeling the baby move. His texts impart the wonder and love he feels for both of them. I am happy

Outstanding! Very happy for you, your son and your family.

Hi JS:

Just dropping by to see how it is going for you.
Take care man!

TM, Thank you for your kind words. I am quite proud of him as you are of your son. May they all be kept safer than we.

MK, Thank you for checking my thread….Pretty much status quo. I’ll be dropping off the face of the internet for a few days. I’ll check your thread when I get back.

Journaling: the dog is upset with me. He thinks I have cheated on him with OD.

I attended a recital at Kent State University last night. My niece invited me. I rode in the back seat of her mother’s car where she transports her German Sheppard. So I a few of his hairs drowning in his scent were apparent upon my trousers when I finally got home.

The recital was good. It was nice I was able to provide moral support for my niece. Afterward we stopped at a star bucks, got coffee and visited for a while. During the drive I visited with SIL and her male friend. We spoke about many neutral topics and managed to keep it upbeat for the most part.

See if he has left a copy of No More Mr. Nice Dog lying around. If you find it, you're in trouble.

Lol, at +200 lbs I could be in real trouble.

Journaling: I neglected to mention that during the coffee stop after my niece’s recital her mother mentioned it was my turn to host Thanksgiving. I assumed she was teasing me to get a reaction. I played it off as a joke and mentioned I’d better start cleaning the dog hair out of the house immediately.

One of the things I mulled over while in stand over the last weekend was if she had been serious. She has a very dry deadpan sense of humor so it could have gone either way. Long story short I spoke with her yesterday, and I am not hosting, but I am invited to my STBXs families Thanksgiving celebration at the other SIL’s home.

This SIL explained that whenever I have interacted with STBX’s family I have been genuine and caring through what they realize is a very difficult time.

That I have not taken a negative tone when speaking about STBX although I have obliviously been hurt.

That I have been as an older brother to her and a father figure to her children.

That the family agreed they would like me to attend if I can and I feel comfortable doing so.

Our conversation digressed a little when she spoke of how her sister is treating family and how hurt she has felt during the last year.

I tried to explain that STBX is under a great deal of stress as she is probably convinced she will only find happiness on the path she has chosen.

I tried to explain that some degree of personality shift is normal when people are under stress and the WAS typically associates only with people that support and agree with them.

I tried to explain that STBX needs to experience the path she has chosen and I cannot swoop in to rescue, that any effort like that from me would be counterproductive.

I found myself citing the “In sickness and in health” part of my vows twice during this part of the call.

It also turns out I am invited to Christmas Eve dinner. The other SIL stated “JS needs to be there to help prepare the meal” It is a traditional Slovakian meal, meatless that I have contributed to for the last twenty three years.

So it seems I am not abandoned by STBX’s family. For that I have all of YOU and this site to thank. It could have gone many different ways quite easily. Of course I will be DB’ing my backside off a week from Thursday.

JS

First off - completely missed that your son was home from Afghanistan! Hooray - Glad to hear he is safe.

I just loved this whole post. You wrote on my thread about you not gracefully letting go of your wife as well as me.

Reread what you just wrote....

You took the high road. You acted in grace and honor. You are loving your w when she is being very unloveable to you.

And you aren't doing it for show or for "props" You have chosen the high road.. because that is who you are.

What you wrote above is other people seeing that. Validating that all of those tears shed when you decided to be the better person. All the times you looked at the road ahead, wanting to give up, but took another step.

This post is the flower of the seeds you have been planting.

Do not take this lightly. Let it empower you when you aren't sure if what you are doing is right.

So awesome JS. If I was in your neck of the woods.. I'd buy you a beer!

((( )))