Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers I'm still here part III

Wonderful news, amazing what prayer can do.
vc

DG, thanks for the update! Yes, I would say it's good news he's going home.

Journaling---

I had another dream about H last night.
Only this time, he was begging to get back together.
I remember feeling very hesitant about it, given everything that has happened and how much I have changed.

These dreams always make me feel so uneasy.

Glad to hear he's going home. Will still keep him in my prayers.

Dreams are a crazy thing. I haven't really dreamed about w at all until I decided to start sticking up for myself. Seems that fear can even find us there.

Thankfully - you don't have to make that decision today!

Well today has gone to sh*t.

I received a letter in the mail from an ambulance chasing atty offering to represent me in my divorce. Apparently she likes to go to public records and search for people getting a D and send them letters.
I went online to check and sure enough, he filed on the 21st of this month.

Awesome.

This was my email to the atty:

L,

I received your letter in the mail today offering your services to me. I want to thank you for informing me that my spouse has filed for divorce. I had no idea.

Personally, I find it extremely rude to try and turn someone else's pain into a business opportunity for yourself. I will not be needing your services. I do not do business with someone who cannot even spell my name correctly.

DG

I guess this really shouldn't surprise me, it was coming, but I thought he would at least be man enough to say something to me. I feel I deserve that at least.

My friend & I went for a walk and I pretty much cried the entire time, and listened. She reminded me of all the work I have done to change my life, and to not feel like I am a failure.

I know I did everything I could to save my M, but it couldn't be done with only one person wanting it to work.

For some of the newbies on here please do not be discouraged. MWD's Divorce Remedy taught me more about myself than I ever thought possible. Even though I am not getting the end result I wanted, I'm still grateful I took this journey.

DG

I am so sorry. What a horrible way to find out. I can't believe he didn't even tell you he filed.

Listen to your friend you have done so much to change yourself and your life. You are NOT a failure. You can't save a marriage if only 1 person is doing the work. He is making a big mistake DG.

I am here anytime you want to talk. I will keep you in my prayers to give you peace and happiness.

((((((((((DG))))))))))

So sorry, DG, that is a crappy way to find out. I don't know if it helps to hear this or not, but you can leave this behind you with your head held high, knowing you did everything you could. He can't say the same and that's what he'll have to live with. I'd rather be you.

I am really glad your grandfather is going home, please keep us posted. I'll be keeping you both in my prayers.

(((()))))

Oh DG. I ALWAYS read your updates and I am thinking of you. HUGSSSSSSSS and my best thpughts to you......

Sorry DG... and yes, that is one craptastic way to find out

But you're only done if you want to be. What's a D? It's simply a piece of paper that, quite frankly, is just legally codifying what most of our WASs have already done in mind, body, and spirit.

You can choose to keep DBing and working, or not. There is no right answer here and no one here will judge you one way or the other. I think you can say you've done everything you can and it's time to move on. At the same time, if you say you're going to keep DBing and working for some period of time... that's a good answer too.

I think the WAS thinks the D is the final arbiter. Like, "but we got divorced... why are you still doing things to better yourself and change how I feel?" Well, because I want to and you, WAS, don't get to tell me what to do. You really didn't get to before, but now that you've done the D thing, you really really don't get to. So deal with it.

DG:
Sorry for your pain. Your H needs to man up some time and take responsibility for his actions.

HOWEVER....I am in the same boat....D is going through no matter what...this is just the step the WAW needs to take. It is everything to her, and needs to be done before she can move on. BUT...she has not even contemplated what comes next...this is just a stepping stone.

It ain't over until you say it is.....you will know deep in your heart. All my friends tell me to accept what is happening and to take care of myself. They are right, of course, but I will not give up that shred of hope until I know in my heart that everything has been exhausted. Understand the WAS is living in a dreamland, and that is going to change down the road.

Be strong. Keep the faith in yourself. Hang in there.