Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Volume III

Thanks, everyone.

We are meeting with a mediator on 11/18. After that it's paperwork, signatures and another marriage goes into the dumpster.

Wake me when it's over, please.

Sorry about that TM my court date is 11/16. It is really surreal. Hang in there

Sorry, Tele. Hang in there. Be proud of how you have handled yourself. I am on your same path, just a few steps behind........

Be strong. You have behaved like a true gentleman and caring partner. Be proud of that.

TM,
JB is right.. You need to start GANLing the Sh!t out of your day, week, etc. right now.

Mediation is a tough process. It will be one that tests EVERYTHING you have worked on within yourself since the bomb.

How do you want to handle it?

For me, I had to work through some of the pain. I was too angry, too hurt, too shocked, too desperate for recon.. too everything.

But this board (especially JustStunned) suggested I slow down.

And I'm glad I did.. because I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to show the best Val in this particular part of the journey.

And no matter what has happened.. I will not go back to the Old Val. I will keep my changes consistent. I will push to keep growing. The only difference is that.. I no longer be that person for w, or our m, I do it for me.

We want this to be over as fast as possible, we want to pain to subside and for healing to become.

The truth is that we can heal in our pain. In our pain, we grow. In our pain, we live.

I know it may be hard to see right now but this is not all for nothing. TM.. this is NOT a waste.

For if you have saved yourself, you have succeeded. If you act in a way that is proud, you have won.

and no event, person or relationship can take that away from you.

Hang in there sweetie! As someone posted earlier.. you will get through this.

I'm keeping myself busy enough during the day; it's the evenings that get to me. I've been trying to spend more time with my music, going to the gym and reading but those thoughts still find a way to creep in. When I finally get into bed, turn out the light and know that there is nobody else in the house, and that my W will never share our bed again, that tears it.

I know that I need to be OK with being alone before I can think about being with anyone else, but this is harder than I ever imagined.

TM I am an emotional mess tonight and haven't been able to stop crying.

I cry for you also, and for all of us LBS's who would give anything to wake up from this nightmare.

It is hard, d*mn hard to be alone sometimes, but I know we can do it.

You have come so far, endured so much, and have been an inspiration to myself and lots of others here. I know this is a hard time for you, but you are not alone. We are here for you every step of the way.

(((HUGS)))

TM and DG:
You are both having a rough day, and for that I am truly sorry. I know it gets old here to have people tell you to be strong and move forward when all you want to do is curl up and cry. But you have to keep moving and working on your PMA. You are both wonderful people with WAS who are clueless as to who they are leaving. Be proud of how you have handled yourselves, and realize that there IS light at the end of the damn long tunnel.

Pulling for you.

I totally agree with this.

You have come so far Telemark, and you've put up with so much.

You have handled yourself like a true gentleman through this. You have shown your W love when she absolutely didn't deserve love.

I can say I am truly proud to have gotten to know you through this MB. There is a bright future for you on the other side.

Continuing to pray for you, brother.

Tel,
I ehco what the others are saying. Have only gotten to know you recently, but I can tell a quality person when I see it. Quality always rises to the top, it always outshines all others. Stay strong, know that there are others out there pulling for you!!
Gunny

Update, though not a whole lot is new to report...

NC with STBXW since we agreed on a date to meet the mediator / attorney. I have a Marital Asset Agreement and Quit Claim Deed almost completed; it's amazing what you can find online. Hopefully that legwork will keep the overall cost down, although I do plan to enforce my decision that STBXW will have to pay for this.

Life alone is getting a little easier to take. I still go to the gym regularly, practice & play with the Travellers, go out often with friends and even went bowling last night; first time in years. Trying to teach myself how to cook more varieties of meals.

STBXW and her OM are occupying less space in my head, but I still find myself hurting over that relationship. I think those will be the hardest thoughts to get rid of. I was going through boxes of pictures the other night and found several of her and me from much happier days; that brought on a pretty intense crying jag. I stored them away; maybe someday I will be able to look at them again, but right now they are painful triggers.

The last difficult task we have to face is dividing up the Christmas decorations. I think I will go through them, keep what I want and let STBXW keep whatever she wants from what is left. I will leave them for her on the enclosed porch so I don't have to see her or talk to her; emotions are still too raw right now.