Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Are there any success stories here?

Sorry dont know your sitch well but i can definitely relate to what you said. It takes lot more effort to wait than to just 'get it over'.

As lot of folks here said, at the end of the day you will become stronger and i think that might be worth more than anything...

So stick to what you feel is right.

I'm thinking that if I had not found this forum, I would have pushed my h out the door with some seriously bad behavior.

I think that at least 76% - 78% of these numbers are just made up.

There is no real hard data, and sadly data while it should be pure can also be corrupt just by the type of data you choose to use.

recent?

Bustorama thinks he is in a very good place with his wife, and Navyguy seems to be doing well.

My personal view?

F the numbers and the odds. Aim to be the person who defies them, and is not defined by them.

Who cares about the odds? Thats why they play the game. Super Bowl 42 Giants beat Patriots - no one would have guessed that.

I believe my H & I will be reunited. and I act accordingly.

GOOD LUCK

"Never tell me the odds" - Han Solo

Well this is a strange twist of events. I've been feeling someone discouraged as the divorce starts moving again and posted this topic on here, and low and behold I got something positive out of the W.

She's pretty upset with me right now because I took our D8 to an outing and it was her first time doing this experience. My W told me last month she wanted to be there for the first time but never mentioned it since. The invite came only 3-4 days before and I only saw the W for 5 minutes and it slipping my mind.

Anyway, she missed it and is pretty upset. I have apologized over and over but she seems really angry. I told her I can't fix it but will be more mindful in the future, and I reminded her we will both miss "firsts" through the rest of our D's life because divorce [censored].

And here is where I was shocked: She said she had been feeling good about "us" the past couple of weeks, until I went and did this. That was the first time in several months I had any feed back that indicated a softening stance.

I am hoping she'll cool off in a day or so and let this incident go and get back to that "good feeling about us" again. I really didn't do it to hurt her, I just didn't think it was THAT important to her, and I certainly didn't expect her to get so angry about it. I'm just being cool, validating, and apologizing.

OK, let me disclaim that I can in no way read minds... but I will say this...

The best to be gleaned from that comment is your W was sticking the knife into you... maybe it was conscious, maybe it was unconscious, but she knows you still want her back and so she would know that statement would hurt you... because hey... in HER mind, you stuck her with the knife first...

But if she really wasn't trying to hurt you with that statement, then the following alternative is possible...

IF she has been softening, then this one incident will be remembered, but it won't be a deal breaker...

Keep repeating to yourself:

Believe none of what they say and only 50% of what they do...

She SAYS she's been softening... what are the ACTIONS that back up that statement, that were overt and observable by you?

Responded on your other thread....

For starters, go here:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=postlist&Board=43&page=1

"I got something positive out of the W."
"I have apologized over and over but she seems really angry"
"And here is where I was shocked: She said she had been feeling good about "us" the past couple of weeks, until I went and did this."

Total script. Let me tell you something about this. She's doing this to control you. It happens in the majority of sitches here. It's not a positive move. She is still blaming you for how bad she feels and what she's missing out on.

Well you know what? Tough. She chooses to do this, these are the consequences. You don't walk on water, you make mistakes just like she does.

DO NOT keep apologizing. Apologize once in a validating way and that's it. Don't make promises like "I'll never do it again" because chances are you will. It's only human. Just remember, she also has made mistakes. The only difference is that you're not beating her over the head with it.

IMHO, if you start re-asserting yourself as the man in the relationship and not let her hold your nuts in her pocket, she'll start respecting you more. She's not your boss. She's not your mom. And she's definitely no better than you are. Stop putting her on a pedestal and you'll get a better result.