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W came over this morning and we shared a cup of coffee. We talked about pretty safe subjects; did slip into R talk for a bit but it was OK; she said she still wants to proceed with the D "for now"...not sure what that means.

As she left she gave me a tight hug and small kiss. I'm not reading anything into anything, but it felt good.

Hey TM, how are you doing this week? Good I hope!

Just dropping in TM to catch up on your sitch.

I definitely agree with the not dating bit. I feel the exact same way, and yes it's been very hard to not date as opportunities present themselves (it's true, there are a ton of fish in the proverbial sea), but I've seen what it can do when I wasn't married, and I definitely don't want to feel that way again. Man...I wish my W was open to the occassional meetups like that...all I want is like a lunch with our son that she can tag along with if she wants to. Time will tell on that end I guess. As always, my prayers and hugs are with you.

Hi, TM! Dropping by the boards to check on my friends. As always, you are handling your situation like a perfect gentleman. Remember to celebrate the baby steps and the small victories. I think having a nice time enjoying a cup of coffee with your wife that ended with a hug and kiss is definitely to be celebrated.
Whatever happens, I know this for sure: you've got great things ahead.

Can't wait to hear about your Texas trip. Love, hugs & prayers, lc4

Tele:
I am moving forward with D proceedings with my W. We are going to file jointly and go for an uncontested D. In my case, this is a box she has to check off on her to-do list. Leaving this town was the first box, D is the second. She is very firm on the D. It is her way of sorting out her life.

The D is just a piece of paper. You are the one who has said it ain't over til its over. My W has a very long road ahead of her AFTER the D is final. I have no idea where that road will take her, and neither does she. I am keeping the road back paved and smooth, but am attempting to abandon any hope or expectation.

Having said that, I agree with JB. If you are absolutely certain that there can be no trust, respect or love, the pull teh plug and move forward. It is your choice. Just make damn sure you know. You have been on this board for a long time, as have I, and the ups and downs are very hard to take. Be strong.

"Just make damn sure you know."

95% of the time I'm completely sure. It's the other 5% that bothers the crap out of me and keeps me from pulling the trigger.

But I think I'm just kidding myself to think she would ever return, and if she did would it be just a variation of what we have gone through?

Aint' over till its over. 5% would seem like a lot to many on this board. Sure would to me.

Perspective. Comes with time. When every day seems like a week and every week seems like a year it is difficult to keep things in perspective. My W has been gone 9 weeks. Not much time in the scheme of things. She is probably not coming back, almost definately not. But I would be a fool to close and lock the door. I cannot hope for it or have expectations. But I am not going to refuse her contacts either.

Just a thought.

Well...

When the OM and his mother moved cross-country to live with my W, she swore up and down there was nothing between them. She carefully laid out the sleeping arrangements to me and assured me it was strictly platonic.

Uh-huh.

I didn't believe it, but a little part of me wanted to. So I continued to hope that she was telling me the truth. Our conversations have been pleasant, our face-to-face meetings have been cordial and warm, punctuated by hugs and kisses from her. So I drank the Kool-Aid and figured I would patiently wait her out.

Tonight I was able to spend some time with SS22 and he innocently and gleefully told me that "Uncle R_ _ _ _ and Mom sleep in the same bed! And they kiss a lot!"

Lightning bolt down the spine.

I guess I'm really not surprised. She has become a total stranger to me and obviously has no conscience or morals. I feel strangely calm about this, like I no longer have to wonder what the outcome will be. I can move on with my life unencumbered by second guesses and what if's. The house does not seem so empty and depressing. Maybe it's a form of shock; hard to wrap my head around the fact that the woman I have loved for 11 years has become this person.

Time to GANL...Get A New Life.

Telemark, I am so sorry to hear about this, man. The blatant confirmation really hurts. And I'm sure it stung because you heard it from SS22. I know it's not a total shocker. I think the calmness is a by-product of already expecting it and your level of detachment.

I couldn't said it any better - GANL!

Hang in there, man!

TM, I am sorry you had to have your suspicions confirmed like that. I know how guarded one sometimes has to be around an autistic person.

So it has been confirmed. You’ve steeled yourself, suspected this was coming for weeks.

Now what, shortly you’ll go to San Antonio for your son’s graduation. Will he have leave between boot and his first school? Where do you want your thoughts going to during the next couple of weeks?

What is good for Telemark?