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Seriously thinking about quitting my job, or at least looking at finding a new job. I love my school and I love teaching, but I am tired of the poop and the hoops I have to jump through. I am a science teacher, but I am expecting to teach the students reading, writing, math, and morals. Where does it stop? What else am I going to have to teach my "kids"? I went to school to be highly qualified to teach chemistry...not all these other subjects. If I wanted to teach those I would have gone into that subject or taught elementary school like I was going to do until I realized that age annoys me. I want to teach and I love to teach, but it isn't fun anymore. It is proven that the best learning happens when students are "playing". I can't even do experiments half the time because I am expected to teach these extra ideas that take away from giving the students hands-on opportunities.

I really can't handle it anymore and people wonder why the turn over rate for teachers has increased so dramatically. It is because young teachers are trying to have a family and life outside of the classroom, but that is not possible if you want to keep your job.

I am expected to stay and give all this extra help to kids who would rather sleep during my class and not get their work done. They want to do that. They ask to stay after to get their work done so with the 20 minutes I give them to work in class, they can talk to their friends. I am perfectly ok helping students who really need the help, but many of the students failing could pass if they would just turn in a little work and try a little because they are extremely intelligent. Where are the parents? When will students be held accountable for what they are not doing? I agree there are things I need to change and I have explained how this year I am changing how I teach story problems after knowing the math doesn't teach them, but why am I supposed to give up parenting my kid to help a kid who wastes time during class.

Those of you who say, but you get summers off. I am spending my summer in class to renew my liscense that I have to pay to do on top of get new items ready for the next year so I work all year round. Last summer was the first summer I did get a break, but I am seeing that will be a very rare occasion.

Career change may be in my immediate future.

Heard from L today. She still has not gotten information from H...so a subpeona has been sent. I am sure I will hear about that one from H. What is his deal? He wants the D. He pushed for me to D him and now he won't give the info. There is one piece that I have to give her, but I didn't know she needed it so I will give that to her tomorrow.

I just don't get it. Then this week I got a postcard from H's uncle who does a community theater addressed to Mrs. H. It was an invite for the play, but what in the world? Do they not know? I just don't get it.

H picks-up S tomorrow...we will see how that goes...I wonder if H will continue his "I sent it" line or if he will blame my L, or if he won't say a thing.

I think we all have our ups and downs in our professions and it definitely is frustrating. In the office world, it's often the office politics that drive you crazy! It's unfortunate that all the rules and expectations are impeding you from being about to teach the kids what you are there to do - Chemistry! - but on the other hand, you have to weigh the plus and minuses. There's the frustrating side you mentioned, but i'm sure there is a lot of good too - getting to know your students, seeing them succeed on a tough problem, etc. I know you're feelinging down on it now, but you are a great teacher and in general, you really sound like you enjoy what you do.

Wow, I can't believe how much the D is dragging for you! For a man that can't wait not to be married to you, he is sure taking his time. Is the missing paperwork linked to financial things? Maybe he's concerned about getting stuck with more financially. It will be interesting to see how he reacts to the subpeona since in the past he's been kind of sensitve on those things. Hopefully he won't overreact though and will still be civil with you.

Enjoy your "you" and "adult" time this weekend!

Awest,
I didn't realize SCIENCE teachers were expected to teach kids math and reading skills...I figured you had to teach vocabulary and some forumulas or something but geez!

I don't get why another teacher has HALF of the class size that you do! Do you get different students each trimester?

But here is a ballsy move- if your district learning targets do not address all that other stuff, then why not just teach what you are supposed to? Have you called your principal out on some of this stuff? Are you tenured yet? I am just saying that we have had some crazy ideals placed on us by the revolving door of principals and it turned out that they don't get to tell us what to do if it goes against the district policies! (i.e. each of us are responsible for teaching the learning targets for our grade, differentiating for various skill levels, managing our class to create an environment conducive to learning...and THAT is plenty!)

I hope you get some grown up time this weekend. Wonder why your son has been clingy?

Take care--maybe even the Thanksgiving break will help you

With the L, H says he talked to the receptionist and she already has the stuff...it was just misplaced? We will see when I call on Monday or Tuesday.

NM-with the school stuff it is actually a state mandate. Our scores are down in english so our school is "failing" although we were named in the top 100 schools in the nation by Newsweek and got fully accredited by our acredidation committee with flying colors and no recommendations for improvement. We missed making the grade in english by two subcells which were ENL and special ed, but we are a failing school so the state in two years could take over our school. Because of that now everyone must teach reading comprehension and writing in our content area, and I have to teach math because the math department doesn't teach story problems which is all I do in physics...so it comes to me teaching these other subjects I am not "high qualified" for. It is all stupid and hopefully will change in two years when we get a new govenor and new state superintendent.

With class size, it has to do with the counselors and not balancing classes right. It completely is stupid. My classes though are doing great so far. Their first test is Tuesday so we will see how that goes, but so far things are going well. I love the students and the actual teaching...I just hate the politics.

This weekend has been fun. I got my outside christmas lights up before the snow next week, but I refuse to turn them on until after Thanksgiving.

Had a little bit of a rough time yesterday only because everyone is playing Christmas music now and paquebel's canon in D came on. That is what I walked down the aisle to. I am just not as in to the Christmas spirit because it was Dec 17 that we got married, and this year I won't have many ornaments to put on the tree due to most of them coming from us getting married. Kind of Sad, but reason to buy a few new if needed. I just don't know about this anniversary. Last year, we were separated, but I still believed we could make it. Now the D will be final on January 13 so it is just stupid. I am not planning on doing anything for it or even recognizing it. I am going to try to stay busy that day getting ready for the Sunday school christmas program that next Sunday, but we will see how it goes. I will see H that day because it is his day...not looking forward to it.

A couple of other things that made me sad this weekend. On friday there was a commercial for Black Friday. S asked about what it was and I said it was a day that people go shopping for Christmas presents. S said "but Fridays are when kids see their daddies". It is all he knows. He is not sad about it, but it is all he knows and it makes me sad. I tried to explain that not everyone has to visit their daddies because some kids live with their daddies like my nephews and his friends. S kind of got it.

Then S said that my B and SIL live together because they love each other and want to stay married. He is just over 3 and is way too smart. He said H and I don't like each other, but I fixed that and said we like each other, but daddy doesn't love mommy (I know blaming H a little, but it is true). Then S brought up how H and I fought; yelled at each other last year. It is scary how vividly he remembers that stuff. I feel horrible for it because he shouldn't remember that, but the only time we fought was last end of December and beginning of January (my low time). About 3 weeks. I am sad that he remembers that and not that we get along now for him. Very sad.

Feeling angry today. Not really sure why. H text me this morning to check on S because S's eye was pink yesterday (probably just allergies or tired), but it really bugged me.

S doesn't have pink-eye. His eyes cleared up over night. He is however complaining about his leg hurting. I don't know if he has a crap or growing pains. I think it is more growing pains due to him eating a ton and then the past two days sleeping a lot...4T pants here we come....

Yesterday was great! S cuddled up with me on the couch. We watched movies and he took a nap. He hasn't done that in forever and it was fun to do.

TOday is like my THursday so trying to get excited. Also I am usually super excited to decorate...but not this year. It is always my favorite time. Maybe seeing the decorations and hearing the music will help.

That breaks my heart too - the truth from a childs mouth. =( If we could control it, we would make sure our S's never had to experience any pain, but unfortunately others (our H's) aren't so self-less.

That's funny. My S is growing too. He's been napping/eating a ton and was complaining on saturday about his legs hurting. He's a two year old that is the size of a three year old (currently wearing 3t), so he too could be going to his 4t's soon! They just grow up too fast. I was working on a Calendar to give out to the family for christmas and I was looking back at pictures. It's just amazing how they grow up right before your eyes. I don't even remember him not being this big toddler boy anymore!

Regarding your anniversary, I would definitely not acknowledge it to H. Plan in advance now to keep yourself as busy as possible (especially b/c you won't have S). Call friends and family and make plans now! I know it's going to be a tough day for you no matter what, but just try to keep it as normal as possible when H comes to pick up S,and then just take care of you and spend time with friends and family.

The holidays are difficult for all of us, but I just read this great article in the paper for people in our sitch. It talks alot about not balling in your old traditions, but starting some new traditions for your new sitch. It could be something like baking, visiting a nursing home, bringing presents to those in need, etc... Anything that you want to start as a NEW tradition. Maybe for you, you could start a tradition of making ornaments for the tree. You could see S's artist progress over the years. =P

Enjoy your short work week this week! It will be turkey day in no time! Yum! =)

Hi Awest, I have been reading but not posting.
Thanks for explaining about the deal regarding you teaching reading and math...it makes sense in a wrong kind of way (how your school was deemed failing. But we all know the NCLB act was a mess) I hear you on thinking of other careers...I mean there is a lot about teaching that I love but ever since I had S (and my H left me for an OW), my perspective on life is a bit different. Hard to put into words...want to help shape the future but kind of tired of yet again facing another uphill battle in life I guess!

Anyway, that was sad to see your S thinking all dads see their kids on Fridays and that he sees his aunt and uncle together because they want to stay married. Not sad for the present time really, but sad for the future when he sees the different families out there and also realizes that one person can want to stay married but the other can change his mind. (NOT THAT WE will tell our kids this in a warning way or anything) I can't even process that for my S yet.

I have heard of the idea of new holiday traditions for us separated/divorced folk. Hmmm....sounds kind of fun don't you think?

When you said you got your Christmas lights up, did you put them on the roof? Did you put them up by yourself? I am just wondering because I didn't put any up last year and I would like to this year! (without exH's help of course)

I always put isicle lights on the porch roof. Then on Saturday I will wrap my white posts with red ribbon to make them look like candy canes, put up a wreath, garland around the bottom on the posts, (I have a large front porch) and then large ornaments where my hanging flowers normally are. This is all stuff that I thought up when H and I moved in so it feels mine. H wasn't really for decorating so it was always mine. The only thing he always did was put up the lights so I didn't hurt myself, but I did it all by myself. Climbed the ladder, hung on, and reached. It looks nice, but won't turn them on until after Thanksgiving.

H and I never started our own traditions once we got together except going to his parents Christmas eve and mine Christmas day. The other stuff was either stuff he always did or I always did. Since I was little, we always decorate the Saturday after Thanksgiving so I will continue that with S. One thing I started last year is he gets to pick out his own new ornament for the tree (I would have him make one, but he always makes one at daycare so that is taken care of). Then one weekend in December we will bake cookies. S loves to help decorate. It is so cute!

I did go out and buy a new tree topper because the one I had was the one H and I bought together so I got a new one. I may also go and get some new solid color ornaments to put on the tree because I will be getting rid of all the ones we got for our wedding (except one special one from my grandma it is from Bronners is Frankenmuth where my grandpa grew up. She happened to pick out the exact same ornament my parents got when they got married so it is special to me since my dad died. It was always awesome to me so I won't get rid of that one).

THis also gives me a chance to put away some of my wedding momentoes from my cabinet and put them away for good. I am starting to get excited so it will all be fun. Last year I also started giving cookies as gifts to my friends at church. They all liked them and I think S and I will do taht again. I always make so many cookies so I have to give some away.

So really last year I started a lot of S and I traditions. I just have to stay busy on Dec 17 and also find something to do on Christmas eve since S will be with H until late at night. Maybe a Bones marathon since i just bought the newest season for dirt cheap. The 17th I have one of my good friends coming home from Ball State (H's B's ex). She said she will hang with me the 17th and I have the Sunday school Christmas program that weekend so I will be busy.