Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Yep.........I'm still here

Journaling----

A little on the low end this morning but I know I will be ok.

One thing I wanted to praise myself for is the cell phone. I have not looked at the records. I'm finally to the point where I just don't care who he is talking to or not talking to. It takes way too much effort to care about something that is beyond my control.

I'm learning to let go. For me, this is huge. I've never been able to let go of anything remotely negative that has happened in my life, even though it is very exhausting to hold on sometimes.

Good for you, DG. Glad to hear it. Letting go of the phone records is a big step!

I am glad things are getting easier for you DG. You really have come a long way from when you first started posting.

DG!!! I am so proud of you good for you not looking at the cell phone. It is hard to let go but that wasn't helping you just hurting you, I know been there done that!

Keep up the good work!!

Ever listen to the song "Anymore" by Travis Tritt? Good song if your in a good place, horrible song is your sad. As a matter of fact, pretty much all country music is not good to listen to when going through this.
With the exception of Miranda Lambert. She sings about revenge, which is a pick me up.

Maybe I shouldn't brag so much about my highs, because it seems when I do my lows are right around the corner.

With that being said, I am still really liking my place now. Even my kids seem happier. They used to complain about how cramped it was, but since we've painted and are getting new carpet (plus went through a lot of our stuff and got rid of everything that was just collecting dust) and now we're just happier.

I am going to cancel H's cell phone at the end of the month, I sent him a text informing him of this, plus I asked when he plans on picking up the rest of his things. Surprise, no response.

I. Give. Up.

No, I am not concerned about that at all.
I understand why you might think that, but he hasn't even been to the dr since we've split. I haven't received any EOB emailed to me and I receive them both by email.
Besides, open enrollment starts soon for 2012 and he will not be on my insurance any longer.

My H is staying away because he knows I have taken this time to work on me, and he has not.
It's funny, I was at dinner with a friend tonight who is going through a lot of what I am also, and we both discussed how much we have changed. I know I am a different woman. I'm proud of who I am. I no longer feel inferior. I firmly believe that this will be his loss.

DG, enjoy the highs with abandon while they last. Tuck away the memories of them and allow those memories to carry you through the lows, because you always know another high is right around the corner!

You have come a long, long way. You're an inspiration to many on this board and I'm positive you're an inspiration to others in your local influence.

Gun Powder and Lead baby!!

Keep everything about YOU DG...You are doing so good. I am so proud of you!

Brian

"Besides, open enrollment starts soon for 2012 and he will not be on my insurance any longer"

DG ^^^^^^^ I would consult an L before you get him off your insurance. If he ends up in a hospital and gets hit with a bill and is unable to pay for it. That might affect your credit too. As I understand it assests and debt are 50/50. just my 2c.

Not a bad idea DG since you MIGHT be held responsible. I doubt it b/c of the physical sep, but hey - better safe than sorry. I would bet anything a creditor would try to nag the heck out of you for a long time before backing off if you have nothing filed.
You all have been apart since Feb and so, in 2/12 either can file right? I mean isn't it a year apart for a no fault divorce?

Has anything been filed at all, like court orders for support?

DG have you sent him written notice of the ins dropping? And are you paying for it as of now? Geez that does take some nerve of him...

Lest I forget, you ARE doing well DG. I see such growth and progress and yes it IS his loss.

When I came to realize I was going to be happy no matter what happened, that realization itself made me happier right then. And it showed, imo.

And who knows why, but I sure think it related to h waking up.

But he never did some of the things your h has done/not done or SAY he wanted a divorce...(just lived 3000 miles away, "up the road")

but most importantly

I did the changes for ME and my kids. Not to get him back. IN fact, when he wanted to rejoin the family in full and recommit,

I had to really really search my soul and see changes in h before I could let him back in. I had finally gotten order in my life and wasn't sure if I wanted to risk going back to crazy land.

So we tend to want what we think we can't have but if we're honest about it all

and face the loss (AND GAIN of their leaving) realistically and if we grow, then it's not a black and white no brainer when they want back in.

takes some serious thought.

Too many LBSers focus ONLY on their loss, and forget to recall reality and they paint the WAS in rose colors so that all they think they want is the WAS back home...asap! But not so fast...

and I know that if your h wants back in, and gets back in, it'll be to a better happier m, or no m at all.

Let that realization empower you, okay?