Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers She is pregnant

Country,

The destruction of two families is just so sad...so sad. What is also sad is that I think in the end, your STBXW might end up being a single mother with two children by different fathers.

Trust me, that is no woman's life plan. I also don't think most married men enter an affair with the explicit goal of impregnating a woman as soon as possible. No one wins in a situation like this.

Two people have caused so much hurting and why? Personal happiness? Selfishness? Both.

I just can't explain it. (But since your sitch has been one month ahead of mine in every way, I have a terrible fear of the next big news I'll be getting.)

You ARE the better man. Don't forget that. Its so good you can take the high road...good for you and good for your D. Its called integrity...and its rare.

Oh, CS, I didn't realize the OM in your sitch was also married. Idiots!

Let me just say, that sticking to the high road and having some compassion for the terrible pickle your W has gotten herself into, is admirable.

There HAVE been a couple of guys here, whose wives got pregnant by their affair partners, who chose to take their wives back and raise the child as their own. Obviously, this only works if the wife is truly repentant, the marriage was strong before and worth saving, AND the guy has the fortitude to do so without taking it out on the innocent child. I doubt if the tables were turned that I could have that kind of strength, and certainly am not recommending it to you - just mentioning that it is not a complete impossibility.

Still, I think most men - and women - just can't get past the spouse getting pregnant by the OP, and most of the time it just enables you to get some closure and move forward.

Thank you LITB and AA35. I appreciate it.

So I picked up D.

It went OK. I was calm and in control. She talked with her head down in short answers.

I mentioned how hard this must be on her. Her, head down...yeah.

We meet at Daycare. So I said, it will be tough at daycare. I swear her eyes popped like she hadn't even thought about it.

She said she would tell them.

I did tell her that I hoped that she would now start moving forward with the D as quickly as possible.

She tried to push back to me. Saying that all the things she needed to complete the forms was at the house (my house). I know when she handed me those papers a while back she was hoping I would just take care of it. I said this D is still her responsibility.

I told her I know and that we will have to schedule a time for her to get what she needs. As well as the remainder of her things.

She mentioned that she had a key and could come by. I screwed up here. I should have asked for the key right then. Didn't think of it.

I told her I was not comfortable with her coming by unannounced and that I do not want her in the house without me.

She said something like "I wouldn't do anything funky."

I said I know, but that I am just not comfortable with it.

TBH, I just don't trust her right now. With good reason I believe.

We also discussed the schedule to meet tomorrow morning. It is mixed up a bit do to nothing worth discussing here, but this did cause her to have to mention she had a Dr. Appt tomorrow. That stung a bit but didn't let it show.

Oh, speaking of showing...wow. I am surprised I had not noticed before. But I guess I was always focused on getting in and out quick, never looked I guess.

So now the kicker.

She pulls off as do I. As I get to the light I see her pull into the adjacent parking lot. And guess who is there. Yep....OM.

He jumps into the car and they pull out. I am still waiting for the light and they drive right passed me. His dorky ass looking right at me.

OMG, he IS a dork! I couldn't believe it. He was dressed like the guys in Pulp Fiction when they put on Quentin Tarantino's clothes at the house. Kind of pudgy too.

I actually kind of chuckled.

Oh man, it feels good to have D here tonight. She brings a light with her.

Peace all.

Hi kml. I must have been typing when you responded. Thanks as well

Just a quick note on possibility of R in these situations. Others have brought it up as well.

I understand. I have learned that things that you never thought possible can happen. Things you never thought could change can.

Just right now. For me. It's not what I want. I simply want to put this behind me and move on. Where I end up?

Well. That unknowing is part of the fun.

That ^^^^^ is an amazing perspective.

For my fellow gender LBS's...

It ain't you...

Well

for the most part.

You chose to be a man. You cannot fail.

She pulls off as do I. As I get to the light I see her pull into the adjacent parking lot. And guess who is there. Yep....OM.

He jumps into the car and they pull out. I am still waiting for the light and they drive right passed me. His dorky ass looking right at me.


I think I said it before, I like where you are in your life a lot better than where your W is or where the OM is. I would hate to be in their shoes!


Very nice. You are such a fantastic Dad. You're a great man, CS.

I didn't want my divorce, after 26 years together - but where I ended up is: playing drums in an amateur rock band, touring professionally as a glockenspieler and percussionist with my best friend (who is a professional singer/songwriter), moving into a beautiful new home (yes, it's farther out of town and not in the ritzy neighborhood I used to live in, but it's gorgeous and I like my new neighborhood) and dating a guy who is tall, dark, handsome, and 9 years younger. Life can be good - you never know what surprises await! As Tom Petty says, the future is wide open!

glad you are with d...and I can tell she's a cutie pahtootie!



Not to rain on the rainbow, but,

anyone else feel sick for OM's wife and kid?

OMG, she's about to have her world really sukk big time.

I sort of hoped she was an idiot beyotch so we could avoid feeling bad-

but no one deserves what she's about to hear....as YOU know...

Goodnight CS, so sorry buddy.

Oh yeah. I do.

I talked to his W very early on in the sitch. She did NOT handle things well. She fell off the deep in. I cannot imagine what this will do to her.

Him. Being the weak man he has shown to be. Of course will wait as long as he can before telling her.

Then his D. She is now 3,000 miles away. Has a heart condition and has no dad in her life. Now she has to hear about this.

The destruction these two have caused...

The whole thing is so sad. How is your D? I bet it was great to have her with you! I know my kids are the loves of my life.

Yeah I have to have that same uncomfortable talk about getting my key back. fun fun