Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Still in the marathon - did I miss a turn?

Thanks as always. lc4.

In a nutshell, I was able to get her to go to MC for 2 years. I made a lot of changes during MC. I read a lot of books. I learned how to love unconditionally. I thought part of the purpose for that was it was God teaching me how to love His way. It changed my attitude toward my W and toward other people. It probably gave me a jump start on DB'ing. OTOH, my W said she learned a lot about herself, but she really didn't make many changes. Her attitude toward the M seemed to change, but she really didn't invest any time in the homework. She didn't read any books. I'm not being critical - part of that's just her personality - she not really a reader or researcher.

Right there with you, jb...I mean, I miss my W, not yours...

Looks like you, DG and I all got hit with the same stick yesterday. I think we all miss the persons our spouses used to be, not the alien life forms they have turned into. It's also doubly difficult because our S's are involved to some extent with OPs, so not only are we feeling the total rejection but also the feeling of being replaced with persons who our S's think are "better".

Remember...it's still going to be easier being "us" than being "them". Small consolation, I know, but all we can do is continue on the path we're on.

Make me #4...I just posted on my own thread...what was it about yesterday? Was there something in the air?







All three of these resonate with me. I feel the EXACT same way. I was driving back home last night for about 2 and a half hours. The minute I pulled out of my parents driveway I started weeping. Cried out to God and was just asking for His help. The loneliness set back in. I think that is one of the blessings you have with your S. You still have someone you can share moments with on a semi-regular basis. While I know it makes things more difficult, I often fantasize about having a child and whether or not I ever will now. My W & I were planning on trying this time next year.

Turned on the radio after I got a good cry out and heard "While I'm Waiting." Got me to thinking about Fireproof and how, like you said on a previous page, I know my W & I can be sooooo much more and all the pain would be worth a lifetime with her. The floodgates opened right back up.

I say all that to say, you're still my DB'ing role model man and a true inspiration to many I'm sure. You've truly found things about yourself you never knew and found positive ways to release the pain, anger and frustration we all feel. You're not alone man. We seem to have a quartet among us that hit the wall face first yesterday/last night. And I'm sure there are others. But today is a new day. We have to find a way to embrace it. "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." -Romans 8:28

Praying for you brother.

Oh jb, I'm so sorry you had such a bad day yesterday. I don't think you'd be a loving human being if you didn't have some bad days.

I truly wish I could offer some words of comfort but I'm a loss right now. Just know that there are people out there that know what you're going through and that really do care.

((()))

I really think something is in the air (end of summer?). I had a melancholy weekend as well. Much sadness. No joy.

Time to pick up and move forward, jb and others. Everybody ready?

Right on, Telemark! One thing to keep in mind, is when we hit those points, there's only one direction to go, and that's up again! I keep thinking that part of the divine purpose of this mess is to make me a better person, and I might as well take advantage of it.

You weren't listening to SiriusXM on The Message by any chance, were you? It's amazing how much that song speaks to me. As a side note, I got to meet John Waller last year at a marriage conference of all things. He did that song there. It tore up then and it tears me up now.


Thanks so much MTS.


I keep hearing this a lot. I think I should get it tatooed on my arm. What do you think?


And...I REALLY appreciate this! THANK YOU!!!

I think you did offer the words of comfort, along with the others. Thanks for the hug, too! Back atcha! ((()))

Yep. SiriusXM The Message is exactly what I was listening to!