Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Still in the marathon - did I miss a turn?

So I just took my S out to Chipotle for dinner. On the way back, I spotted my W's car at Lowe's way in the back of the parking lot. I actually turned into the parking lot and confirmed it was my W's car. Lowe's was closed BTW. The car was empty. There was a minvan several spaces away with what appeared to be two people in it. It was pouring rain out. One of those two people in the minivan could have been my W. I did not drive over to the minivan. Did I do the right thing?

do you want the humorous answer... or the somber one...?

The humorous answer is: No... you should have went over to the minivan and tossed rocks at it...

The somber answer is:

Why did you go check out the car in the first place?

It was out of curiosity, like surely that couldn't be W's car. I pointed it out to my S, and it was like, "wanna check it out?"

I think you did the right thing, jb. If your W had seen you, she could have wrongly assumed you were following her, or checking up on her. I can't imagine that would have gone over well.

Anyway, I wouldn't read too much into it at this point.

She could have simply run into a friend so perhaps they were chatting in the van to get out of the rain. I wouldn't let your imagination run wild because meeting in a Lowe's parking lot does not exactly seem like a good date spot.

You did what you did, jb...

don't worry about it...

but you are worried about it...

why?

Personally, all I am trying to do is not do anything I know could potentially make me feel like crap- sounds like this would be one of those I would **try** to avoid. But, good grief, haven't we all slipped up? Don't beat yourself up, you are still a rock star at DBing. I wish I had your discipline.

I know its crazy hard, but don't let your mind go there- it could be just as likely that she ran into an old friend. I have actually met an old (male) friend there, too- nothing shady going on, either.

Thanks, KD. I actually started posting immediately after I got home. I started feeling better once I got it off my chest. I moved forward with my plans with my S to watch a movie. I was able to watch the replies roll in. I think through everyone's support and just getting off my chest in the first place, it brought me right back down and the adrenaline subsided.

So - I'm in a much better place now. I think I was worried if I should be worried about it.

Thanks, E. This along with KD's post really helped me out tonight. Especially your comment at the end punctuated with my old friend the crazy smiley. I didn't really expect to see my W's car in the parking lot. It was kind of like, "Oh crap, that IS her car, I'm outta here!!" , despite my S trying to encourage me to find her in the store and give her a ride to her car.

There's a lot of ifs. That may or may not have been her in the van. If it was her in the van, I don't know what the circumstances were. If it was her in the van, and it was a OM, I am just going to keep doing what I'm doing and be the better option - so back to GAL'ing. Her loss. If it was her and she saw me, it could be her guilt to deal with. But then you're right - she could also think I was checking up on her, and that wouldn't be a good thing.

Thanks for that ROMB. It was a purely accidental sighting. Like you can see from above, I didn't really think that was my W's car. You're right - it could be the worst case scenario or it could something totally benign. Even if it's the worst case scenario, it breaks my heart that she's fallen to this level. Back to GAL'ing. I am doing much healthier things with my life.

Thanks Telemark. This was coming back to me again tonight for some reason.