lol, Confused... You sound like you're doing fine for the most part...
Of course you'll have your moments of ups and downs and anxieties motivating you to DO SOMETHING...
You have some awesome advisers and advice above ^^^^ .....
Let me explain to you that I moved out of the familial home... I moved out of the bed...
It was not an easy decision, but it was the only decision... I was the only person... I could control... and my boundaries were, I would not be spoken down to, disrespected, and otherwise emotionally used and abused, any more...
So long as you can manage... stay in the marital bed and stay in the marital home... if you feel you need to, ask HIM to leave the bed or the home... but know that he will and has the right to make his own choices...
ONLY (like going dark) should you make the moves yourself if YOU need to... and IF you do it... do it FOR YOU...
Perfect sense. I have spoken to you before and you always have sound advise.Unless I provoke h, he never says or does anything mean. Never has been that kinda guy. The worse thing he has ever called me was anal, and that was about the OCD and I deserved it. He really is a nice guy.The few times that he has gotten upset is as I said when I crossed what he thought were boundries.He is sooo concerned about being his own person because of how controlling I was. I am trying to be the best person I can, for me. My controlling and OCD and thinking that everyone should be just like me was awful. I knew when I did or said something that was mean or hurtful that I was wrong, just couldn't seem to control it. I always said exactly what I thought or felt regardless of someones else's feelings. I hated being like that. Now I actually like who I'm becoming. Still a work in progress but I feel so much better.As always I will take the advise I am givin and hopefully I can kkep doing what I'm doing because I have ssen baby steps. I am happy with that.
I've removed my sig because I'm done... you'll find my current thread in the Separated forum...
My W was and remains very (OCD and) controlling... If I can help you, as you are willing to curb your behaviours, I am thrilled...
As an example, my W wants 80/20 custody (as well as care and control of kids) because she doesn't "trust" me to get the kids to school on time...
Now, I won't say that I don't struggle sometimes in the mornings... but jeesh... does that make me a bad parent that somehow I my kids should only be with me 20% of their lives?
My W is in a job that takes her to out of province conferences at least 30 days a year... THOSE were the ONLY days that I was "in charge" of the kids, and even then... my W made sure that she had a friend or two and more recently her dad, checking up on me and the kids...
Everything we ever did as a family and the rest of the time she was around, everything was scheduled and done around her schedule and whims...
and OCD... oiy... I wouldn't even know where to begin... no one is ever able to live up to her "standard"... so... even when she delegated, it was never good enough and she'd have to do it herself (like cleaning, vacuuming, making beds, etc, etc, etc...)
You sound like you're doing fine for the most part...
