Just a little journaling - having a pretty good morning so far. Got to sleep at a decent hour, and it's my night with S7 - it's sort of chilly here, so maybe we'll bake something.
H: 39, Me: 37 SD: 18, S: 7 M: 9, T: 10 "I love you but am not in love with you" - 5/11 Discovered online affair - 7/11
Had a couple of brief (very brief) moments today where I thought about awful things H has recently said/done and was sort of .. left breathless. Hate that it still makes me physically hurt.
Anyway, only a few brief moments. Mostly good day. Hanging out with S7 tonight, noshing on some gyoza!
H: 39, Me: 37 SD: 18, S: 7 M: 9, T: 10 "I love you but am not in love with you" - 5/11 Discovered online affair - 7/11
I still remember the constant day after day of feeling down. Now they are tending to be rarer and rarer - they are at worst a day, at best a moment. We are all making progress.
H 34, W 36 T 13.5 M 8.5 C 6yo twins S 6/5/11 OW 7/6/11 OW moves in 9/18/11
Just got mail from H saying he's going to be "out of town" on one of his visitation days, and do I want to get S7 or do I want to arrange for babysitting. He didn't mention that it's to visit his affair partner, but her husband had already told me about this upcoming trip.
I'm sure he'd say it's because he "didn't want to hurt me", as if that's even remotely true.
Probably not going to be a great day.
H: 39, Me: 37 SD: 18, S: 7 M: 9, T: 10 "I love you but am not in love with you" - 5/11 Discovered online affair - 7/11
Thanks, JB. I keep trying to convince myself that logistically, his affair can't work. She lives 2500 miles away, and has 2 kids. Her husband isn't willing to entertain moving here, or letting her move with the kids, and hopefully she's not such an awful mom that she'd move without them.
I'm obviously not willing to let H move there with S7, and although I'm half convinced he'll just move and abandon him, I hope I'm wrong.
I'm not even sure I'd ever want H back, after what he's put me through, but somehow the idea of them "working out" just makes me sick.
H: 39, Me: 37 SD: 18, S: 7 M: 9, T: 10 "I love you but am not in love with you" - 5/11 Discovered online affair - 7/11
Maybe you can plan something special that day with your son to keep your mind off of the trip.
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
The idea of it working out with OP is overwhelming and sickening and disheartening. BUT remember, these relationships generally fail for many reasons. Remain focused on you and your improvements. I'm right there with you friend!!!
Me (f): 45 W(f) 35 T: 13 y C: S4 adopted at birth 6-18-11 bomb: I want to break up 8-28-11 OW confirmed