Here's a good one. Youngest S just started dating a girl about a month ago. Kids know who ow is and set strong limits on us to not talk about the A when they are around. So youngest S sits down with me last week and blurts out, "My girlfriend's parents hate "xxxxxx" and her brother." Turns out youngest S's gf's parent s LIVED next door to ow.
M 55 H 58 M 24 T 29 S 22,21, 19 Bomb 4/10 It (A) really isn't about you 11/2013 We all have work to do
The truth will set you free, but it will almost kill you first.
When I 1st confronted ow @ her involvement w my H she said that another young woman in the company was after him and it wasn't her (ow). Call this other "young woman" yw.
H told me that whenever yw called the office ow would say to him, "Your girlfriend is calling."
So, of course I've been observant and I do think that yw has a crush on my H. Whenever we are in the same place I catch her staring at him. At employee functions she always, I mean ALWAYS looks at him and says goodbye to just him. It's like I'm not even there. At the last employee dinner she had to clear the tables after people had finished. h finished his mean and I was still working on mine. This yw came over to our table and flirtatiously said to my H. "Are you finished Mr. F?" She then removed his plate and never...NEVER acknowledged my presence. I pointed out to my H that this really bothered me. So, after I finished I stood up, picked up my plate and walked over to her and handed it to her.
We are headed to training this week. H and I discussed renting a car so that I could sight-see. Yw was saying to H that she was going to have to pay $80 to get from the airport to the hotel. Guess what? He says she can ride with us. I told him that I wish he had consulted me before he said anything. He pooh poohed me and said I had absolutely nothing to worry about. If she likes him that is her problem. I said that wasn't the point.
Now I'm in the position of having to put up with her in the car for an hour or tell him that it isn't going to happen. If I say the latter, then I'm the B, unreasonable, won;t let go and blah blah blah.
What do I do?
M 55 H 58 M 24 T 29 S 22,21, 19 Bomb 4/10 It (A) really isn't about you 11/2013 We all have work to do
The truth will set you free, but it will almost kill you first.
My opinion.....be sugar and honey to her. Nothing discomfits a predatory woman like the W of the man she is chasing being sickeningly sweet to them. Also, you will have the ultimate upper hand.
Lots of 'bless your heart's thrown in there too! Not sure what part of the country you are from but a little southern backhanded charm doesn't hurt!!!! LOL
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I agree. Put yourself in her place and think about how you'd interpret it if you got in the car and the wife was cold and disapproving. It would give her the power (to quote a recent hilarious SNL skit). She would see that you and your husband were not in agreement, not emotionally together. She would see that she had made at least enough of an impression on this older man to annoy his wife. Maybe there's a chance...?
So be exactly toward her as you would be if you were in a wonderful, troublefree marriage. Treat her like she's no threat to you. The alternative does not help your cause.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
OK...got the be nice to the other chick thing. Consider it done.
The part I'm perplexed about is that clueless H of mine and his lack of consideration about my feelings. I'm really not worried about HER. I'm peeved at his lame brain....
M 55 H 58 M 24 T 29 S 22,21, 19 Bomb 4/10 It (A) really isn't about you 11/2013 We all have work to do
The truth will set you free, but it will almost kill you first.
I need to tell you why I get like this ....it's a trigger really.
We are getting ready to take a trip and I seem to always get emotional when we are about to go away. Part of the discovery was finding text data and realizing he had been texting her from our bed while on vacation. .....after ML to me!
M 55 H 58 M 24 T 29 S 22,21, 19 Bomb 4/10 It (A) really isn't about you 11/2013 We all have work to do
The truth will set you free, but it will almost kill you first.
Thanks for dropping by my thread. I hope things are going well with you in training this week and that the car ride with yw went well. I agree with the advice you received. Be positive and upbeat and the very best MZ you can be! It shows that you are confident and secure in your marriage and in yourself.
It's good that you recognize the situations and things that triggers your anxiety and brings thoughts of ow back to you. Remember to envision the big, red STOP sign when that happens and force your thoughts to something else. ow is never, ever worth your time or thoughts. Leave her in the past, where she belongs.
