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Telemark, Again I am truly sorry it has come to this for you. I really liked 25's post. I'm sure your W could use a 2x4x25.

I don't think you are totally out of the game yet, or at least that's my assessment. I do think you are taking the best direction for you right now. However, if there is ever going to be a R, your W is going to have to make some major, sweeping changes. She's not showing any initial signs of it.

Who am I to judge anyone, but geez, the OM sounds like a real winner I am concerned, as I'm sure you really are, for your SS21. It's a pity that his well-being is a casualty in all this.


I completely agree with this. This is what makes me think you may still have a long shot at turning this thing around. Too early to tell right now, though. I'm afraid it's going to take this kind of shake up to get you back in the game, if it's going to happen.

I hope you're holding up all right. I am continuing to pray for you and you're in my thoughts. Please continue to keep us posted.

I say go for it but proceed with caution. Beware of the potential for rebound. You know where you are emotionally.

Thanks, DG. I'm OK. Yes, this is not a "date". She's been burned pretty well also so we are both being very cautious.

But it sure will be nice to talk to someone other than my ugly man friends.

jb, I'm doing surprisingly OK. Refer to the above post for further details. And check FB.

Telemark

given the givens, I have to say if I could "wish" any set up for a WAS that I could

THIS set up is what I'd design!...it is so batchit crazy I'd find it ideal.

Sweet "MIL" with a serious health care problem and a partying OM (who will be conveniently NOT available to care for his own mom much...unless he finds a job!!)

and an autistic son who doesn't and isn't adjusting well...in a small 2 bedroom apartment...

(sounds ideal for the LBSer)

As I said, not to make light of your pain, but as someone else here said, they have to hit bottom and she's on the express elevator down.

OM and her new life is going to sorely disappoint her. I know her own life with you and SS was tough. I get that. But her life is SO NOT going to improve with THIS...Be ready for the call from her in a few months...she will hit bottom.

Hang in there my friend.

"OM and her new life is going to sorely disappoint her. I know her own life with you and SS was tough. I get that. But her life is SO NOT going to improve with THIS...Be ready for the call from her in a few months...she will hit bottom."

No doubt in my mind this is going to happen.

With regard to the drink invitation, GO AND HAVE FUN!

Thanks, 25. As I said, I'm doing surprisingly well today. Now tomorrow I might wake up and start sobbing like a baby, but today - today is a good day.

And the way I'm feeling right now, a call from her in a few months would probably not go the way she would want it to.

I'm gonna go against the grain here and say that I'm not sure it's a good idea to go on a date.

You are very strong TM, but I remember when w dropped the bomb. My friends were great. We had it planned for me to go to one a club here in LA to be around gorgeous women.. who would think I was gorgeous. I said to myself. "I will not take one of these women home. I will not lower myself to my w. etc". My friends said they wouldn't allow me to either.

Well I decided stop at home, change clothes, get pretty, and wouldn't you know it, my key broke off in the door. I couldn't go anywhere. I was mad, but at the same time realized that even though I thought I was ok, God was protecting me.

Obviously you're not me and you're feelings are your own. Just wanna give you something to think about.. and I don't mean the hot women I was talking about.

Wow Telemark, this is heavy stuff.

I'm amazed at how you handled it. A definitive show of immense strength. I hope to have that in the coming days. My wife has been silent for a bit (will be updating my own thread with those details later tonight) but I've been reading the threads of all those who have helped me out and just wanted to comment that I know what it is to see a W who is definitely on the express elevator down. Sometimes I see my W as a airplane heading straight down but thats me.

I wish you the best of luck man and I know you can do it because that same strength got you this far, and it will only take your further.

- KC

V, I truly appreciate your perspective on this. I'm trying not to look at it as a "date" but just two acquaintances getting together after work for a glass of wine and some chit-chat.

But I know that I am nowhere near ready for a "relationship" and until our D is final - and regardless of what my W and OM are doing - I will not date or pursue other women.

OmegaZed, it is surprising what you can endure and rise to when the situation requires it. I don't think I did anything special; I prayed a lot, tried to do the right thing and in the end I knew I was not going to verbally or emotionally spar with my W.