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Thanks, MLC.

I think when I no longer care about what he's doing, I'll know I've detached. It's a process .. and this time next month, I'll feel better than now .. and every month after that.

And eventually, when I'm in another relationship, with whomever that might be, I will be a better person and a better partner.

absolutely true.

Good stuff. ^^^

Is there ever a point where you are able to completely not care? Just wondering....
Hang in there a girl. I'm in your corner.

I think so, but when is different for everyone.
I can only speak for myself, but having been married once before, I did get to a point where I didn't care about the choices he made. They no longer affected me.

Having a hard weekend. Back to the place I was a few weeks ago - can't eat, can't sleep well, generally depressed and sad.

Hoping it passes quickly. I just can't believe the person I spent 10 years with has rewritten our history in his mind to convince himself I'm a horrible person. I can't believe he's moved on to someone else so quickly.

I think finding out that he's planning to visit her next month sent me in to this spiral. I know there's nothing I can do about it. It still hurts.

Yes it does hurt and honestly that hurt will be there for awhile... but it does get easier.

I cried all through church this morning, and all the way home due to hurt. It's just one of those days. We all have them. I embrace it, allow the emotions to come, and then pray. What I've noticed is over time.. I cry less. I still cry as hard, but I get out of it much more quickly.

I also noticed that why I cry is different. Not so much of a "pity party" or a "why me" anymore.. but just because I am experiencing loss and because what my w does is hurting me. I don't know if that makes sense.

Remembering that embracing your feelings and dwelling on them are two very different things. Know the difference, it not.. ask God to give you the strength (if that you are that kind of woman)

(())

You were right when you said it must be something in the air, because I felt the same way over the weekend, and am still fighting it.

They talk about this being an emotional roller coaster, but it seems like so much more than that.

Your a great person, don't forget that.

I had a hard day yesterday too - I think its because it was Sunday and that's the day he left and didn't come home. For me it's 14 years and up to the day before he left we were still planning for the future (like he rang me the day before to see if I wanted him to get some plants for the garden) and then he says sorry if him leaving was a shock to me!

Nearly 3 months in for me and it doesn't get any easier!

a girl, I haven't posted to you before because I only recently got off moderation. Anyway, I have been reading your threads for awhile now...

What has helped me a great deal is a book someone recommended on this board. (I'm not sure if we are allowed to mention other books but since it was mentioned here, I hope it's okay.)

"The Journey From Abandonment to Healing" has helped me immensely in understanding so many of the feelings I am having, and why one day seems to be worse then the next, even though I was doing so much better the day before...

It's all part of this process and what we are all feeling is so normal and part of our healing. I have faith in that (most days) but I know that it's not a linear cycle but rather circular and that some days will feel like day one all over again.

Thanks, guys.

I do have that book - maybe I need to curl up and reread it tonight, cause 2 days of this is way more than enough.