i wish i could...i would rather not engage them at all tho, as this is what they want
it really does s*ck........
to see the man that i have spent the last 18 years with, trusted unconditionally, turn into everything he always said he disliked about guys on the road..
oh well...i suppose that this is all part of mlc..........
I know at times it's hard to believe, but, it really isnt about you. His actions clearly show he is in crisis. He is broken and needs to face his demons. And until he looks inside, he is going to be circling the cuckoo clock for a long while.
Nothing you can do about it, sweetie. Just gotta get out of the way and get back to your own journey.
it sort of is a drag when people can easily see what my h is doing and with the age of internet, let me know very quickly
And will continue to be so...
Until
You understnad what you are doing with such convition that it no longer matters what othe people think or what you are doing.
By that I mean:
Why are you endeavoring to put yourself through this?
For certainly you expected this at least.
No?
And maybe worse down the road.
And the thing is, it aint that.
Cause if it were then maybe you'd quit?
No.
This is for YOU. NO ONE ELSE.
Cause NO ONE else cares about he outcome but you right now.
So what lies at the end?
I can say not what you think and not maybe what you started after...
All the same it is a worthy quest.
yes country....some of this is a bit cryptic to me........i think my fried brain needs laymans terms.........this from a theater major......i understand shakespeare, mamet, wilde, but have trouble understanding truegritter....so there you go
grr...haha. me too. Thought I might be the only one who didn't get it. I think our brains are on overload with our sitchs. A lot of times I think people are talking in code cause I don't get it either.
I think what True is trying to say (and forgive me True if I am wrong) is that when making the decision to stand and honor your vows, certain things can and should happen.
You should get to a place of detachment. That comes from understanding and accepting that your spouse is in a MLC.
When detached, really and truly, the things they are doing, while hurtful, should not stop you from moving forward.
In order to move forward, we need to let them go. Love them unconditionally and let them go.
When we do, we allow ourselves to look inward and become the person we are meant to be.
And then what people tell you matters not.
We wish our spouses peace and we find peace within ourselves.
Though it's not what we thought on the outset of all this, it is still a wonderful outcome.
I hope that is clear. I hope I didnt get it wrong, True.
Well, if it wasn't what True meant, it should be. Brooklyn, that was very well put.
Grr, I've been lucky that with XH living in another city, avoiding anyone and everyone we ever knew, I have not had any 'reports'. Still, the kids ( my stepsons ) slip up every now and then and say something. I think that in some still, small place inside of us, we will always be pained by this kind of info, but it becomes easier and easier for the wound to heal.
