Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy My faith gives me the courage to move forward

i am not doing this again. i feel very depressed and confused about going out with that guy. i know it was a mistake. i am just going to take care of me and my son. i don't trust men anymore.

Rysmom
That was one of the rudest things i've ever seen you post. Here was a nice guy who took you out, showed you a good time and then just because he has women friends, you accuse him of being a player. You did the exact same thing to your male tennis friend.

Your paranoia and low self esteem is really getting bad. Be honest here. How many friends do you have? Male and female.

Are you really seeing a therapist? You really need to start getting better. The worst part is that your "solution" is to concentrate on your son. The problem is, he doesn't want your attention. He wants his mom to have friends and be happy. It's so obvious but you refuse to see what's in front of you. Soon you will lose him too. Is that what you want?

Your problem isn't just fear. I've seen this before and you really need professional guidance. Please. Are you even listening? You've even touched upon some suicidal thoughts. Do you want to end up like nine's wife?

As far as the guy's FB page - be aware that lots of times men will receive friend requests that turn out to be from women with something to sell. Or they will "friend" actresses or models or musicians whose work they admire. 120 friends seems pretty average in my circle, and I hardly know a guy friend (not even talking dates here but just buddies) who wouldn't have some of these in their friend pile.

I think you might be reading too much into it because you are scared.

My h came to pick son up for work. He gave son a bag of vegetables from his garden to give to me. i told son to say thanks.

rysmom, I've been following your threads for awhile now...

Do you read the excellent advice you get from so many concerned posters?

It seems like you gloss over what you don't want to own or acknowledge.

And you keep spinning round and round.

Your H gave you vegetables because you're the mother of his child and he's trying to be cordial. I wouldn't read anything else into his niceness. He's not a spewing angry alien but...

Has he ever had to really truly miss you? Or even the option of you?

From what I've read, I don't think so.

rysmom,

You've been avoiding alot of the tough questions that's been asked of you. That's why you find yourself fearful and afraid all the time. Plus you flip from love and hate very quickly and not just towards your H. I've heard you do that with your own son.

Don't you want to heal?

Hey hon, you do not need to be on any dating site, from what I see. You are still married, pining for your H, and what you have idealized in your mind.
In your opinion, what have you done for yourself that you feel is an improvement over the other you? The one your H walked out on?
You are stuck right where you are right now, and have been for a long time.
When was the last time you spoke to your H? Have you ever considered giving yourself a date into the future, when you can steel yourself for it, and ask him to meet you somewhere where you two can speak alone about your situation? I mean, when will you ever speak to him again?
I know you are scared witless about it, but you seem to me to be a smart and good person, who just needs to get out of this limbo you are in. For yourself and your son.
Maybe I don't give great advice, but I think I would do something.
I think about your sitch sometimes, and wish for things to get better for you.

I text h and told him i needed to get a new car because my trans is slipping. He said he would get me a rolls royce and gave me the dealers name and number, and to be sure i eat the vegetables from the garden he sent over. i dont know what to think of this. it could mean nothing i dont want to get sucked in to thinking its sometthing my heart and emotions cant take much more.

rysmom,

Now this is getting ridiculous. did your H really offer you a rolls or are you making that up? Are you serious? I can't tell if you're making this stuff up or if it's the truth.

Yeah, that is kinda strange. Why on earth would he buy you a rolls? As for the vegetables, haven't you always said he does little things like that, anyway? Like you were his sister or something.