I bold printed your words. You said his having an affair, which has been going on for years now, is worse than his death...so, even after all this time,
I made the reasonable inference that you prefer being a widow to being a divorcee--
and the difference is?
How are you reacting differently than if he had died?
If he died, you'd have moved on??
....but he hasn't died and you stay in the same emotional place, or a worse one
and why is that?
He has NOT said or acted as if he wants a reconciliation.
For reasons I assume are financial or medical, neither of them has filed for divorce from their original spouses
but they live openly together.
You find this immoral to the point of calling it an "evil pagan lifestyle".
--your words, not mine. Back to the REAL questions you keep avoiding...
How would marriage to you today, be better than before?
Why should your h come home, in his eyes? THIS IS KEY...
How have YOU changed since all this?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I was going to the monastery before to pray for my life and m, and 2 block from my house im pretty ow was crossing the street. I was so upset when i saw her, we have not crossed paths since h left in feb '10. She was probably coming from deli with BBQ stuff where h likes to go, the deli i introduced him to with good food.
How would marriage to YOU today, be different or better than, before?
How have YOU changed?
God helps those who help themselves so don't use prayer as an excuse not to look within and improve yourself, and don't ever forget, free will.
Your h has one. He may not choose to come home.
Even if were, as he once did, what would be different?
Why wouldn't he leave again?
You have to work on YOU and GAL,
or you'll stay stuck in this terribly lonely place.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
My m would be different because i have more confidence now, i have a few friends, have tennis as a social outlet, would try to be more accepting of h music and tv choices, im going to college for my own career. Would focus more on my life and not depend on h for my happiness. i know i need to do more, but im afraid hes been with ow so long there is no hope. do you think i should file to protect son and i financially? its the only way in my state to protect me.
i have a profile on 2 dating sites but have not met anyone in person. i have gotten a lot of messages but don' t want to meet anyone in person. I have gotten addicted to going to these sites just to see if men still find me attractive but it makes me depressed going on them but its difficult to stop. Can anyone relate? i just want someone to love me, but im afraid of being hurt again. I think im looking for love in the wrong place.
do you think i should file to protect son and i financially? its the only way in my state to protect me.
Yes, if that's the only way your jurisdiction allows for formal financial separations and agreements. Your husband has already proven that he does NOT have you and your son's best interests at heart right now, and has already sniffed around about the boy's college funds.
I am as pro-marriage as they come, but at some point you have to protect yourself and your son, and I think that's LONG overdue.
I know you were given the advice to financially protect your son and yourself many times, especially with your H's financial escapades. If you know that filing is the only way to do that, can I ask why you haven't done it yet?
