I have two D's (19 and 16) the oldest is not one to talk about it. I've used what I refer to as "backdoors" to get to some of their thinking with both D's.
The game is a boardgame that helps with communication and getting to know more about people. It has questions like: What would you do if you had a magic wand?; What do you daydream about?; what do you dislike most about yourself?; What does a happy family look like?
There is also a teen version that has two decks of cards (questions). One is lighthearted and the other more serious stuff like: What would you do if a friend started using dangerous drugs?
It's another tool for talking about different topics. You can probably get more info if you Google it.
Your son that "hates" his Mom, is a tough one. I think I got the brunt of the anger etc directed at me b/c D's live with me 24/7 and I'm the "safe" one. Doesn't make it any easier to handle though. It took alot of trial and error for me to be able to help my D's while at the same time "staying out" of their R with their Dad.
Thanks Grace. I ordered this game. I hope it helps my kids as it has yours.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
Random Musings, I peg this MLC spouse journey at approx 2 yrs 2months. When I first came on here I looked in awe and disgust that success could mean moving on without your spouse. How you could be a success without saving your marriage. How can you save yourself first.
I understand those things much better now.
I am stronger. There will be life outside this marriage. I am a better communicater with people in general. I am a better communicater with my children. I am better at knowing myself. I do have a life. One that I am choosing now and not blaming someone else for.
To those in pain. Time is an ally. Especially for yourself. I honestly couldn"t make any of these statements 6 months ago.
I still love my wife. and guess what thats OK. I know that. She is on a different path and thats OK too. We really don't communicate. If I'm honest I'm sure thats her choice. I don't know why and really im OK with that as well. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. Its like living life spontaneously. It's kinda cool!!!
This is more of a post for people that are hurting. I was there. Am I 100% in the clear. No way. Cycling back does happen. Things will continue to get better.
My STBXW has never looked back in her journey. Full steam ahead. I know her internal struggles will continue until she looks at herself. In fact she would laugh at this statement. I only say this so people understand where I see on her journey.
Wishing all the DB's the ability see beyond what is right in front of them and at the gifts this journey will bring them in the future.
