Wait, can you explain to me how what you draft came back to nip you in the behind? You asked to keep your children in the state, right? How did the pendulum swing in favor of your wife who (a) did not sign the agreement in the first place, and (b) did not bring anything else to the table?
My X did sign the agreement. I did not. It nipped me because we drafted it and she moved away based on it.
Yes, I am allowed to change my mind, however our children happened to be in her care during the hearing, therefore they stay with her until the evaluation is complete.
I suspect because the hearing got moved up and we had an in day mediation, it didn't help me. The mediator and the judge did not have sufficient time to review all of the documentation. I realize they are required to, however I just don't see it.
What are your custody arrangements now? Also, when your W removed your S from your home, what else took place besides the 911 call and your postings here?
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
When she left, I planned and printed out a parental plan, but she refused to sign it. Instead, she basically came up with her own plan (you know, something to match her presumed right to take our son away from the familial home) and basically left little wiggle room for negotiation.
Based on hours alone (per week): W = 80 hrs. (It likely irrelevant, but most of it comes from overnight sleep time) M = 49 hrs. (much of it from awake time) Daycare = 39 hrs.
I can't recall if daycare is factored into parental time, e.g. even if W drops son off at daycare at 8am, and son is there till 3pm, the time is still in favor of W.
I provide dinner for our son Monday-Saturday and breakfast/lunch on Sunday, while my wife only provides breakfast/lunch on Saturday, and dinner on Sunday.
Yes, I'm aware the hours are skewed, so I will try to ask for an extra day where our son spends the night with me; this will help balance out the number quite a bit. The reason things have been set up the way it is currently is because (according to my wife): she will be out of town a lot for hospital interviews for the rest of 2011 and beginning 2012, so our son will be spending a lot of time with me.
Originally Posted By: LITB
Also, when your W removed your S from your home, what else took place besides the 911 call and your postings here?
A lot of people (family/friends) close to us knew what was going on; I called them the moment it happened.
Our son turned 3 today!! My friends and I threw a nice party for him yesterday and he had a blast. You know your child is truly tired when he's surrounded by new toys from his party, and then he looks up and says, "Daddy, I don't want to play anymore, I'm tired." Happy early birthday, E!
Anyway, wife comes to pick our son up from my place just now. He had just woken up from his nap and was still rather cranky. He was crying and refusing to go. I went to carry him, talked to him some, and handed him over to his mom. Here's that part of the conversation.
W: Yadda yadda yadda (trying to console our son); I hand him a juice pack. He perks up a bit and takes it. W: Did he get a nap? M: Oh yes, two hours. W: (While looking at our son) Ooo, thank you. M: He actually slept the two hours in the car. He insisted on staying in his car seat when we got home, so I let him...(I started trailing off here when I realized my wife wasn't even paying attention, because she started telling our son about the details of his birthday party).
Two things I take from this:
1. I was too pleasant around her by telling her our son's napping situation. What do you think? 2. My wife was highly detailed telling our son about the party she planned for him. Our son is easy to please, and when she started telling him all the little details makes me think that she was doing it for my listening pleasure (Why? I don't know). Prior to this she was in my house while I went to get our son in his room, so I'm sure she was scouting for hints of the party I threw for him.
1. You did well Alamo. It is better to be pleasant than to be needy.
2. I find that my WAW does similiar things in what I believe is to help her justify leaving. I know it is difficult to ignore, however don't let her know that it bothers you. Just let it be.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Tomorrow morning my wife is taking a second round of the medical board exams (first one was more than a year ago). Also, I won't see her at all today, because I'll be having picking our son up from daycare and having him for the night as well. Her exam is early in the morning tomorrow in near SFO, which is why she needed me to watch our son tonight.
Do you think it's wise if I send a text message, e.g. "Good luck" or something like that?
My gut says there's no need, but another part of me says why not?
When she left, I planned and printed out a parental plan, but she refused to sign it. Instead, she basically came up with her own plan (you know, something to match her presumed right to take our son away from the familial home) and basically left little wiggle room for negotiation.
Based on hours alone (per week): W = 80 hrs. (It likely irrelevant, but most of it comes from overnight sleep time) M = 49 hrs. (much of it from awake time) Daycare = 39 hrs.
I can't recall if daycare is factored into parental time, e.g. even if W drops son off at daycare at 8am, and son is there till 3pm, the time is still in favor of W.
I provide dinner for our son Monday-Saturday and breakfast/lunch on Sunday, while my wife only provides breakfast/lunch on Saturday, and dinner on Sunday.
Yes, I'm aware the hours are skewed, so I will try to ask for an extra day where our son spends the night with me; this will help balance out the number quite a bit. The reason things have been set up the way it is currently is because (according to my wife): she will be out of town a lot for hospital interviews for the rest of 2011 and beginning 2012, so our son will be spending a lot of time with me.
Originally Posted By: LITB
Also, when your W removed your S from your home, what else took place besides the 911 call and your postings here?
A lot of people (family/friends) close to us knew what was going on; I called them the moment it happened.
I just realized that my wife will probably say no if I asked for an extra night per week with our son. Bummer.
Ask yourself, is she moving away, not moving, or moving towards you, atm...?
THEN, ask yourself if the text will harm, have no effect, or help the sitch...?
THEN... carry on...
Hi Kaffe -- hope you had a good weekend!
Regarding your comment: That's the quandary for me. I'd like to think the message will help the sitch, or at the very least, lessen exam anxiety. What she definitely isn't doing is moving towards me, so it's either moving away or is stagnant. Would saying "Good luck" be likened to something "You look nice today"?. If so, then I won't message her. Or, will she see it more as a pleasantry which she could ignore (I don't mind that), or reply with a simple "Thx" (for example).
Yea i agree with KD. Think of it as wishing your friend for exams.
I did the same when it came to her job interviews. No overly nice wishes. Just a casual one. But, don't hold onto to any expectations of her reciprocating back.
BITS M 38 W 36 D 7 Married 15 yrs W left for 6 months in 2009 W Filed for D 01/03/11 piecing now...
