Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers I can take that punch!

MK, I'd do it. I'd also look for a local mechanic as a backup plan. There are web based boards where consumers post their experiences about people providing services.

I use a local mechanic that has been in business for years, owns the business, has good word of mouth references. Over the years I have developed a trust relationship with the owner.

She can try to guilt you, but guilt is self imposed, you are in control.

Thanks for the feedback guys. Really appreciate it!!

I think i can almost avoid the whole using in-laws help

Did my own car troubleshooting. My car radiator fan is broken. Now i know what to replace !!

But yea i'll still keep that offer by FIL in mind...just in case.

Empowering isn't it? Judgeing by the discussions about hobbies early on I'll wager you've a few tools around to do the job with.

Some of the local parts store around here will perform quick diagnostics at N/C with the hope of selling you a part.

If you ever need to determine what that check engine light is about.

Thanks JS. Yup, even after selling a lot of my woodworking tools, i still have my auto tools and metalworking tools.

I definitely believe in fixing these issues as much as possible myself.

Can wait to get the fan and take care of it this evening !!

Journaling...

So last night i could not sleep waiting to figure out why the radiator fan failed.

Got up early morning, pulled the car into the garage and sat working to yank the radiator fan out. Finally opened the motor and found the culprit. The carbon brushes that contact the rotor had almost worn out. So there was no contact with the commutator. These should not cost more than $10. But when i called up the honda dealer...$240 for the motor!!. Man these guys make their bulk money on parts!!

So anyway, made a temporary fix, put the stuff back. Now looking for a new after market motor.

I feel good knowing that i can take care of my own problems myself.

FIL was happy i got the issue nailed down.

W just called that finally she got the glasses for our daughter picked out. She's having another interview today.....

Looks like I might be calling YOU up next time I have car problems.

Good work man.

Thanks CS!

Journaling....

Well i finally fixed up my car. Got a good fan motor from autozone for about $50.00, took about 1 hr and now i have a working radiator fan!. Phew...

On saturday i planned to go to this local glider club for an open day. You could pay about $60.00 and a pilot will take you up in a glider. Since i spent that afternoon with my car, i missed it . Oh well, maybe in september.

I did talk with daughter on skype. I don't wanna jinx it, but wife has been good about calling me sometimes to see if i wanted to talk with daughter. I really appreciate that. Sometimes i let my mind wander into thinking that we are getting close. But sometimes i feel she's doing it just so i would not complain to the lawyer. I really wanna believe that she has no bad motives behind all this, but honestly i have been burnt before.

Anyway, spent all of yesterday watching all kinds of netflix movies...

Nothing says you can't go to the glider club and talk to the pilots and see if you can get a ride... and offer the $60 for the privilege...

Thanks KD. Yea, but they only have the open day on the first saturday of the month. Anyway, i have lots of time now to try out new stuff...

Lastest bug that bit me...motorcycles. Man, now i really want one. I am not sure if i am going through MLC now

Journaling....

In the midst of my humdrum boring days, i had a drama today with my wife...

She called me up in the morning to tell me something about daughter's glasses and its case. I told her that she could get one from Target. Then she told me some of daughter's antics. we laughed and then hung up.

I was lil surprised as to why wife called me up just for the glasses' case.

Then later i get a call at work. Wife asked if i had some time to talk.

I definitely cannot write in 2step's standard convo way.

We talked for almost 2 hours. The baseline was that wife was getting flak from her family on patching up. I listened, validated and symphatized with her.

At one point she said "You are better off because you are alone and no one makes you feel bad". To which i said "You don't know that. I dont tel you anything that happens on my side. I don't think you should assume" Then she got upset. Made me laugh. It is the same old her. zero change. I just told her that what she was doing was wrong. She gets upset for that. So i did tell her "At this state i dont know what our relationship is supposed to be. You called me to talk and vent and here I am. Listening to hear you talk." Then she backed down.

What i took away from the convo was that she was feeling very bad about what her family was tossing her way and she wanted validation that was she did was justified.

I did channel some 25 her way saying "you can chose to be happy or right"

I told her that she needs to figure out what makes her happy etc. That yes, she did contribute to 50% of the marriage's failure. That yes i accepted full responsibility on how i was immature during our marriage.

Then i had to hang up. I had a meeting to attend.

So later i call her again in the afternoon. After some intial talk on the same subject, i said "Okay P, I am gonna ask you something. I promised myself that i would not ask this after what i had been through. I am just gonna ask this once. Do you wanna work on the marriage?. Take your time and let me know. If you yes, we will have a long way ahead of us to re-patch. But I will treat you as a woman is supposed to be treated by a mature guy. And i'll expect the same from you. If you No, thats okay too. I know what i want in my life. I'll find someone to be happy with." to which she said "I dont think i can say yes or no. I am scared of my cyclic nature of our arguments. We have lul and then we have volcanoes." I said "take your time"

But then she had to hang up as daughter came back from kindergarten.

Interesting convo. On one hand my heart was pumping thinking "what if she says no". Then i thought "Yay! if she says no then i'll find someone cute, awesome and great and then i'll be happier and make that new person happy too with all my new skills"

Quite a change for the guy who cried like a baby when wife left back in Jan. I dunno. No matter what happens, i think i can live it and thrive in it.

Feeling lil good today.