Having a 'blue funk' day today.' XH kept invading my thoughts, finally waking me up for good and all at 3:00 a.m. Haven't had one of these in some time, but tortured by the "If only's . . "
Although I've made many realizations about both myself and my XH, somewhere deep, deep inside, I keep trying to figure out the EXACT MOMENT when things went so wrong. Bizarre, I know. But hey, if they can trace back to the original carrier of the AIDS virus, why can't I trace back to that moment? Answering myself: Because it wouldn't make any difference. It's going to be a long, hot day today. Maybe I'll be so tired I'll go right to sleep and sleep through the night TONIGHT.
Everything is status quo for now. H still hasn't done anything to move the D forward. Just living my life until the next move he makes. Just not letting it stop my forward progress.
You handled your sitch well Punkin! I'm so happy you're in your home. Strength and courage sometimes comes in small packages.
Well, I've moved into my cozy little house and keeping so busy, I don't have much 'introspection' time. XH made an attempt to contact our two D's, one responded, one didn't. I told them both not to make me the reason for their actions with their Dad. The D that responded back said everything with him has strings. He wants to see them and the kids, but in order to do that, they have to meet and accept OW. I haven't heard anything since I contacted him about the arsonist in our area, and got the smarta$$ reply.
Made a great impression on my new neighbor. The first day of moving in, in 106 degree heat, after working for 10+ hours, my friend and I stopped to have a few brews, on an empty stomach. That was when my neighbor came over to introduce herself. She was very nice. I was very squishy.
Since then, I have tried to be very proper as I leave and return. Waving and smiling nicely. No trash bags full of beer cans on the curb, etc. Unfortunately, she came back over yesterday afternoon, to tell me my dog was out. I was standing in the front door in a T shirt, no shorts ( I had just gotten home and was changing.) After I thanked her and closed the door, I realized she had to have seen the huge black eye I have from a stained glass picture falling on my eyebrow this weekend. I'm sure she now thinks I am a barfly that spends her off time in the bars, whooopin' up on gals. OMG!
It's not so much that I care, just that Crap! I finally have neighbors other than coyotes and bears and raccoons, and it appears I made a better neighbor to them! I truly am finding that I miss the freedom of being in the woods, not worrying about the blinds. If you get out of the shower and remember you forgot something in the truck, just run out and get it. Who's gonna see? I feel kind of like someone that's been raised by wolves, just entering civilization.
Thanks for the fashion advice, though. There is an old Victorian 2 story behind my house that has been turned into apartments, and I see enough of that trend as it is!
