Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Praying for strength

DG - I'm glad that list is helping! I wish I were better at practicing what I preach, but just having it in mind does seem to help.

Wow....it's hard to believe I haven't posted at all today up until this point. I might actually be getting a life! LOL

Today was busy, I had an appt in the morning so I didn't get into work until later and then it's busy busy of course for the rest of the day. Trying to keep as positive as possible.

Girl, I requested that book you suggested for me from the library. Right now I am reading "The wisdom of a broken heart by Susan Piver and it's pretty good so far.

I need some 2x4's....I've been snooping again.

OK, just went down the basement and got a 2x4 and I'm swingin': STOP SNOOPING

Better?

How did you feel after snooping?

Honestly jb I don't know. I didn't feel better but I didn't feel worse.

I think I did it because I want to feel like I have some sort of contact or connection with him. This being dark all the time really stinks and it doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere.

I know I'm better than this, and I know I shouldn't have to resort to something so childish. All I can say is tomorrow is a new day.

DG - I understand the "connection" thing - you and I are in a fairly similar place - some differences, but H off with OW, and us sort of .. here.

Just remember, even if you only have *one* more good moment tomorrow than you did today, you're still making progress.

I've been wanting to swing an official 2x4 and I took your invitation.


Yeah, kinda makes sense. You want remember why you're doing all this. I thought you said earlier the going dark was helping how you felt? Are you saying it's not working anymore and/or lost its effectiveness? Do you need to try something different?


Just a backslide today. You've avoided the snooping for several days now. Don't beat yourself up and move on. You will do better.

It does help me feel better yes. But it also makes me feel disconnected.

Can you believe I have not heard my H's voice since the middle of May?

If being dark is supposed to make my H miss me and be curious, he doesn't seem all that interested. Still waiting to hear from him regarding a text I sent 2 days ago, asking if he had any sort of idea where his head may be at.

I guess I got my answer.

Guess it kind of cuts both ways.


No - that is unbelievable. That's a really long time.

It is a very long time.

I had hope in the beginning, but that hope has pretty much diminished.

But....why hasn't he filed if he's done?

That is a long time dg

Going dark is for YOU

it is an aid to detachment

Going dark or NC is not to get a response from spouse etc, but this is a hopeful bye product