Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers The BGP weren't as comfortable as she thought

I know it's after the fact, bb... but your W could have taken her first wages as a cheque, gone to money mart or western union or whatever to get it cashed, and then paid for her own darned account...

jes' sayin'...

The house is scheduled for foreclosure in September. I am currently speaking to a realtor about a short sale. The kids and I will be moving in with my parents in 2 weeks so they can get settled before school begins. I'm in the process of getting the kids transferred to their new school system. Once we move out i will get the cable, gas, electric, etc. Taken out of my name and switched to w. I believe my w will linger in the house until someone shows up to throw her out since she doesn't have any other living arrangements lined up. She tells me that her plan is to find an apartment within the new schooldistrict where the kids will be so she can eventually share custody. I think she is counting on the divorce settlement and alimony to give her a wad of cash so she can get set up in her new life.

This is true, but I am making an effort to remain reasonable and supportive to my w's needs. It's important that I maintain a positive working relationship with her as we negotiate the divorce details. It's sometimes difficult for me to continue to do these nice things for her and i need to resist the urge to hang her out to dry, but I need to keep thinking of my big picture strategic objectives.
Rest assured, once her signature is on the papers she will soon notice that I will no longer be available to help with these things and she will realize the reality of her new found freedom.

Heard from W's friend tonight. W starts a new job on Monday and she doesn't have a car yet and has a 20 minute commute. W claims that she will be taking my car to work and i'll need to ride the bike to work every day. W hasn't mentioned this to me yet. Her friend also mentioned that the only thing W is concerned with is money and how much she should get from the settlement and alimony. W is also claiming that she will try to get joint custody so she doesn't have to pay child support, but she assumes I will provide anything the kids need and takee them to doctor, dentist, school and other appointments.
Her friend was sickened by the fact my w isn't concerned about the kids at all and only cares about what money she is entitled to. He friend asked several times "what about the kids" and w replied that it's not her problem and that her h will take care of it.

Thanks for answering my question boom.

I think separate quarters will be great for you.

As for your W.

All I can say is.....

One thing that it should make clear. You are the only adult right now for your kids. So be THE ROCK. I know you are and will.

This isn't "giving into her". It's being there for your kids.

Good luck.

Update. W informs me she is leaving the house around 5 pm and will be going to the beach until Sunday. This works out perfect for me since it gives me time to pack up the kid's stuff and mine without my W lurking around making snarky comments. My W starts work on Monday and still doesn't have a car. She claims that she will look at a few cars tonight before she goes down the shore. (note: here in southern New Jersey, people don't go "to the beach" they go "down the shore". Don't ask me why. It's a Jersey thing.)
I hope W isn't planning to use my car on Monday since the kids and i may be gone Sunday.

Hey boom

It's been said before here. "Hope isn't a plan"

There is alot of talk on NC, dark, etc.

But that does not mean you avoid necessary talks.

If you need the car for a day. Make your plan known. 'Waiting' is also not a plan.

Peace.

That's what I get for trying to read when I am out.

I may have misread this.

Could you be stuck without the car? Or only your W?

country, I have a motorcycle that i can use when W has my car, but it's not practical for me to use the bike if I need to take the kids somewhere or attend a work meeting. I have taken the bike to work many times in the last month so W could use the car. I have told her many times that she needs to tell me in advance if she will need the car so i can plan accordingly. She has been without a car for almost 2 months since her's got repoed. To answer your question: she is stuck without the car but she went away to the beach all weekend and never mentioned that she might need it for her first day of work on Monday since.

Big news. The kids and I moved out last night. I sent a text to W and told her we would be gone when she returns. I also found my Inner-starsky and told her she had 48-hours to get the utilities switched to her name since I will be closing the accounts on Monday. She replied that she would see me in court and she would be getting a lawyer in her usual passive-aggressive style via text.