Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Praying for strength

DG,
I'm sorry. I understand, this is the most gut-wrenching feeling there is. Even if we think we are preparing ourselves for it, once we *know*, ugh. Just be prepared for the whole spectrum of emotions and realize we're all here to help you through them.

((hugs))

I slept like sh*t.

A lot of tossing and turning, and I am exhausted today.
My friends are picking me up and we are going to the beach, it's supposed to be a beautiful day.

I told H that I would like him to get the rest of his things out by Sept. 1st, and of course, he didn't respond to my text. It's fine, I'm not going to chase him anymore trying to get answers.

I blocked him on FB so he can no longer send me random "pokes" and it kills me to do it, I have to.

I asked God for strength for today, let's hope He gives it to me.

P.S. One thing I will add, is I am suprised at how calm I am with this.

Yes I've cried and yes I am upset, but the old me would have gotten angry, extremely angry, and lashed out verbally saying absolutely everything I could to make him hurt as badly as I am hurting right now. For once, he may have deserved it. But I didn't, and I won't. I refuse to let him get me to that point. This shows me that I really have grown.

Didn't sleep well either, DG, it adds up after a while. Maybe a nap on the beach will help (try not to burn though).

Sometimes I think it's harder when there is that minimal contact like the pokes, rather than full contact or completely dark. I think blocking his FB was good for you.

My heart hurts badly this morning.

It's almost as if I can't believe it.

Do I still stick to my no major decisions for a year theory or does that go out the window?

In regards to my marriage.

These are pretty much my thoughts. I don't think you need to wait a hard and fast year. But do take as much time as you need. Let the initial shock of reality wear off so you will know and will be confident you are making a sound decision. If your decision is give it a year at that point, so be it. If your decision is to move on at that point, then go that route.

I think you're in one day at a time territory at this point.

I will be praying for your wisdom and strength.

Oh DG I am so sorry. I know how much this hurts. You are a wonderful person and have grown and changed so much. Take as much time as you need to process what you have learned. Life is going to be good for you again I know it will.

I will keep you in my prayers

H texted me back finally and said that he isn't going to defend his actions.
He also basically went on to say that every day is a struggle and people hug and kiss him because he's having a hard time. WTF?
He did say he has not slept with anyone else.
At this point, it doesn't matter.

He pretty much blames me for everything, he's happy that I am a new woman but he says it [censored] that I had to put him through h*ll in order to get there.

I asked him if we are done with and of course, no answer.

Fine.

DG, I'm so very sorry. You have become the woman only a fool would leave, and your H knows it. He's backpedaling with his comments, trying to get sympathy about his terrible plight.

Bah. I'm assuming nobody held a gun to his head.

You have every right to do what is best for you, regardless of what anyone else says.