Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Can my relationship be saved?

You guys are all the best. Seriously.

Funny story - playing "words with friends" on my iPhone, and just now I made "detach" on a double word score. Is the universe trying to tell me something?

Ok, seriously what?

Conversation:

Him: Hey, so I was thinking that you don't use the LazyBoy so ..

Me: Oh, gosh, of course, take it. It's yours, anyway! (because he had it before we got together)

Him: Well hon, lots of stuff is mine that I'm not taking.

Me: *looks at him*

Him: I'm not trying to be mean! I'm just saying ...

Me: Sure, of course - but yeah, take it.

"Hon" is what we called each other instead of by name. Funny how it just slipped out.

"if you seek your identity in a lazy boy, well then I completely understand"

BTW, this was for you to say

Not a statement of you.

Having a hard time so far today. Not terrible, but a couple bad moments.

Need to keep reminding myself that it's only been 2 weeks since I found about his affair, and it's normal to still be processing.

Just want it over, though.

Trying to sort out all the car stuff. Car loans are a pain in the *bleep*.

H will be out of town on business Wed-Fri. I was very good and didn't ask if OW was joining him - need to not do things that hurt me, or let him hurt me.

Ate a lot of chocolate though.

I have been eating a lot of chocolate also, which isn't good when your a gastric bypass patient and should avoid that stuff all together.

Good for you for not asking him about OW. If it were me, I'd want to know, but then the more I know, the worse it would make me feel. It's a vicious cycle.

You are doing as best you can given the circumstances and I think your doing quite well.

Some suggestions:

- set a big goal to work towards. When my husband had his affair, I decided to train to climb Mt. Whitney. It was great to have a goal to focus on instead of always thinking about the affair. And years later (after reconciliation and later relapse and divorce) I learned to play the drums in a rock band.

- If you're short on friends check out meetup.com - lots of people here have broadened their social circles through meetup groups

- Do something you have always wanted to do.

So did you ever climb the mountain?



Awesome

Some thoughts on GAL - I'm trying out for a choir here in the area - hopefully that will start up in the fall. Also, since H will have S7 for dinner 2 weeknights a week, thinking I'll start working out after work. (Whatever happens, I want a firmer tushie!)

Also a couple of single parent support groups in the area I might check out.

Weird behaviour from H tonight - very friendly, made pizza for everyone for dinner. I was packing for S7 to head to camp for 4 days, so H offered. I later thanked him and said "This is the last night you'll have to wait until he goes to bed to leave" and he said, "Well, yeah .. that's why I wanted us all to have dinner ..."

If I didn't know better I'd think he was having second thoughts, but earlier in the evening he talked about movers, so clearly that's not the case.

Talked a bit about how child support, etc, would break down - he seemed surprised to learn that even if we do a 3 night/4 night split in the end, he'll be on the hook for almost $1k a month + 65% of all S7 expenses (child care, summer camp, sports, etc).

Again, would be nice if that was a wakeup call, but he and OW are "in love", so I guess not.

He seemed reluctant to leave, but it could be that he was waiting for S7 to go to sleep. I finally said, "Why don't you go tell S7 you have some errands to run and you'll see him in the morning and then you can head out?" But he seemed content to just sit in the living room and chat. I was starting to have a hard time with it, though, and wanted to be a little more in control.

Anyway. Although my head says it's over, my heart isn't totally there yet. Tough stuff.