Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Praying for strength

I still don't want our M to be over.
I should, but I don't.

((hugs)) I'm sorry it's so hard.

My take on this... he's not done with you, but he's confused and brain damaged. I think there's a small voice of sanity in many of our WAS that tells them how stupid they are being. I've seen glimpses of that in my own sitch and heard about many more here.

The odd thing is that gives us, the LBS, all the power! If we say we are done, it's over and the WAS may come to regret all they've done. If we decide to trudge along and fight, we know in our hearts we are right and may someday reawaken the person stuck inside the alien.

I'm all in favor of waiting before making any major decisions, but that's me and me alone. You have to decide what is best for you. Hopefully not while in the middle of this emotional whiplash, but if it is, know that you do what you need to do to not just survive, but thrive!

(hugs again)

Thanks for the support guys.

I have decided I am not going to make any irrational decisions.
I am going to calm down over the next few days/weeks/months and really figure out what it is that I want. Not what he wants, but me.

He went on FB and posted a rant about people turning things into something their not, too bad the people he is directing his anger to are no longer his friends. I did ask my friends to not tell me anymore. The less I know, the better.

On a positive note, I had a fantastic day at the beach with my friends and got some great color. My girls & I are going out tonight to listen to some music and sit out on a patio somewhere, and I look good, if I do say so myself.

Hey DG. Saw your post. Something sruck me when you wrote it:
you don't seem "done" yet and you don't seem to have the conclusive proof you posted. Is that right?

I'm not trying to say go one way or the other, but I do recognize what I see and I recognize that marriage is not easy. Often we are put into situations we never expected and always said we would never allow. Or that if this happens, we would do x. We get stretched and we grow regardless of what we used to think

I think you are very wise for waiting to make significant decisions. While you are doing that, I agree that you should not make contact. I don't think that will help you with your decision if that helps.

Being strong doesn't mean doing what others have told you or what others would do. It means finding and doing what you are going to do and being OK with that decision. You do not need to make any decisions right now, but when you do you will have rested and be ready to make a rational decision. Wait for that time. You'll know it when it comes.

Glad the beach was good. Maybe a few more days would be a good idea too?

Take care,

AJ

AJ-

Thanks for your insight.
You are correct, I am not done with him or our M yet. When I will be I'm not sure, but I am confident that I will know when I know.

As for proof, I do know people have seen him, and they weren't tattling on him, they thought we were getting a D.
I hate that he won't tell me where his head is at, and honestly I don't know if I even want to know. right now.

All I know is I need some time.

Turns out the time is the only thing any of us really have, so I think you'll be ok there.

Time.... I hate that word right about now.
I really do look forward to the day I can look back at all of this and be thankful I am no longer going through it.

I had a great day yesterday. I woke up and was extremely depressed but my day improved immensely after spending the day at the beach with my 2 best girlfriends.
After the beach we all went home, freshened up, and then went out for dinner/drinks. It was a beautiful night to sit out on the patio down by the river. A storm came through and the lightning show was amazing.
It really was the perfect day.

However, this morning I am feeling the effects of "too much fun."

I am up early only to get something in my stomach, and now I am going back to bed.......

I'm up now....and feeling good.

Thinking about grabbing my book and heading to the coffee shop to enjoy a latte and read.

GD

Just caught up, sorry to hear that type of news, I think many expect it sometime, but doesnt make it any easier, however we may "try" and prepare for it.

It's very easy to say on here to have a PMA etc etc, but a lot harder to do in reality.

You have shown major strength in the last few months, I hope you can continue with that to help you through this further.

((((hugs))))