I already have a bachelors degree and am capable of holding a job..I am home for the children. they are young...dd wont start school for a few more years..when they are both in school I plan to work...right now I volunteer for the towns ambulance company (the town payed for my certification) so you see I am very capable of doing whatever the hell I want to do when I want to do it. H should know better than to assume he's got me trapped by money he after all didn't find me in a hole...despite the fact that I was young and lived at home I always had a job and payed my own bills.
my h made the decision but changed his mind and came home...now it's on me as I've said...when I tell him to just leave his response is "I'm not going anywhere" and not in a nice way either!
I do give you credit for telling him the potential consequences. I didn't get that.
Can you see that since you are heading down that path, you will be doing yourself and your h more of a favor by doing it quickly? And the kids, they will notice every dying and age really doesn't matter. Children that I have seen hardest hit are the older ones.
Now as for your ultimatum, obviously, he doesn't believe it. But whenever you decide it is over, it will be ugly. And you have been the one who said you will walk away, so I ran with that.
One last question - do you want this marriage to succeed?
I did figure your answer would be that. But can you see how I would say that your cousre of action is guaranteeing no change? What is it that you think is going to save this thing?
I to am gearing up to be financially independent. Right now my H pays all the bills and my check is my own.
I have a good job with benefits but I nned to make more.
I'm going to nursing school. It's been hard working full time and going to school part time, but it will be worth it wether H and I are together or not. Rachael
my doing to h exactly what he did to me..you up for it???
just teasing...I don't know wtf it will take...I understand and appreciate all the advice to go out and do my own thing..focus on me etc...but know that just makes me an enabler...easy for him to sit at home falling asleep watching football..then if I remark that we don't do anything it's "well you don't have to go out all the time...or you're the one who wanted to take this class"
I'd tend to doubt that actually seeking legal councel and starting a d process would have any effect on him at this point and truthfully if that's what it takes then it aint worth it.
Quote: I'd tend to doubt that actually seeking legal councel and starting a d process would have any effect on him at this point and truthfully if that's what it takes then it aint worth it.
That makes no sense whatsoever!!!!!!!!!!!! If that is what it took to save it, it seems that it would be worth it. Girl, we need to have a real chat.
Uh-hum, If I might intercede please, I think that LL thinks if that's what it takes for her husband to open his eyes and see what he's losing that his enthusiasm won't last.
He'll do what he did before to get her back, but it didn't stick. He went back to his old ways.
I can hear the frustration in LL's posts.
I don't think it's hopeless either, but I can understand her thinking the way she does.
