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Just checking in on you. I think that was really brave of you to text him. I know how frustrating life in limbo land can be I am really close to doing the same thing with my H. It is hard to live your life not really knowing where you are and you can't do it forever. You have every right to ask him what he is thinking but you just have to be ready for the answer. We are all here for you.

In regards to people in your life being supportive. They might not be but you know what it is YOUR life. You need to do what makes you happy and if you guys do work things out you are a different person now so your relationship will be different that it was. I know with me I was guilty of only talking about the bad things with H. I need to remember to share the good things too.

I don't discuss my separation to anyone really, only to say that I'm working on me. It really isn't anyone's business and I don't need opinions.

I did open up at first, mostly because I was hurting very badly and I needed support. But I also blamed myself for everything then and that is probably what frustrated people the most, that I was taking the blame foe everything when it does take 2. I was in a fog at that time.

As I predicted, H did not answer me. I was hopeful that he would but I really didn't expect him to.

This morning I woke up and decided to act AS IF, meaning as if my marriage is over. That means no more limbo for me. In my eyes, it's over and we're done. It does not mean that I am going to file for a D, it just means I am no longer going to waste time wondering if we'll get back together.

This sux and I hate it, but I think if I stay in this frame of mind it will make it easier to move forward.

DG,
it does get easier. It's slow, so you might not notice it day-to-day, but over time you'll be able to look back and see how far you've come.

We're all here for you when you have your down days.

Thanks LP.

You guys and your support has been my saving grace.

DG, I have been in limbo also for a year now. As they say, it gets better, you get used to it, and start concentratng more on yourself and not on him. I still have the urge to stir the pot every now and then but then it just makes it worse, so I hold back. I know where I am anyways with H, and if he feels stuck, so do I!

I will not file the D, and he says he won't, so I guess we will just see where it takes us. I can't imagine limbo forever, so I am sure something's got to give someday.

In the meantime, I just enjoy the time together, coz with our D12, we do a lot of fanily stuff together anyways.

A friend of mine has been separated for eleven years... neither she nor her H wish to file D... her thoughts are on the money... I suspect that it's also an issue of either having to rehash the agreements they've made or having closure that neither of them really want...

Either way, as my friend's sitch can attest to... sometimes... we don't even get the luxury of D... and limbo really has to be a state of mind... that we choose to dump... and get on with our lives...

I don't think I will stay in the separated state for as long as your friend has.

At this point, I am just going to focus on today and today only.
Tomorrow will taje care of itself.

Good for you DG...

DG, I viewed moving myself on as another step in this journey. I cannot define the point at which it happened. One day I simply realized I was no longer waiting for her to find her way out of the fog. The separation and lack of contact have helped me a lot.

In a way I have become the WAS and she is the LBS. No pursuit though. Good thing too as it would feed my ego and probably drag me back.

I still hope a little when it’s quiet, but I am not worrying about it or waiting idly.

You’ll get there.

I backslide and I may again, but each time I found my feet and pressed on a little stronger than before. You will also.

I think I am taking a page out of your book DG. I am going to act as if my marriage is over and we are done. I am not going to file for D, I am not filing ever. This is his deal not mine but I am not going to waste time thinking we are getting back together. I am not going to wonder and worry what he is up to. I just am going to focus on the kids. I think I am making life too easy for H and he is just having his cake and eating it too. I am done.

We will always be here to support you DG!